A large company in your area has decided to spend a certain amount of money, either to sponsor a local children's sports team for two years, or to pay for two open-air concerts. It has asked for feedback from the general public. Write a letter to the company. In your letter: - describe the benefits of sponsoring the sports team - summarise the benefits of paying for the concerts - say how you think the company should spend some money Write at least 150 words.

#company #area #amount #money #sponsor #children #sports #team #two #years #concerts #feedback #summarise

Dear Sir or Madam, I am writing in regards to the feedback that you asked

regarding

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for regarding

show examples

your funding plan. On behalf of the local

community

Add a comma

,community

show examples

I thank you for your contribution to our area

Firstly

, spending money on building our local children's sports team has many advantages. Our children will get a chance to become a professional and could play for our nation in future. While sporting keeps our people fit, it will

also

teach them discipline.

Consequently

, they will become better citizens. I came to know that you

also

have an idea about paying for two concerts.

This

could bring our people together and provide them

Add the preposition

with an

show examples

opportunity to socialize.

Moreover

, we could take some time off from our busy

life

Replace the word

lives

show examples

and enjoy the music and relax for a while. I appreciate your initiative to sponsor

Change preposition

apply

show examples

our society. I believe are contributing to a Child’s future is more important than entertainment. I think you should spend on

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

physical recreational activity.

Change the capitalization

show examples

hope you

take

Correct your spelling

make

show examples

a wise decision

Correct the word

Yours

show examples

Your

Correct your spelling

Yours

show examples

faithfully

Fri May 01 2020

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Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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5Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
10Grammar mistakes
 

6 paragraphs

172 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Single idea per paragraph

Greeting and closing

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 9.0

Complete response

Suitable writing tone

Appropriate word count

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Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Computer games and films containing violence are popular today. Some people think that these are harmful for our society and the government should ban them. Other argue that such games and films are fun for entertainment. Discuss both views and give your opinion

In some countries the average weight of people is increasing and their levels of health and fitness are decreasing. What do you think are the causes of these problems and what measures could be taken to solve them?

More and more people use private cars instead of taking public transport. What are the reasons for this trend? How can the government encourage people to take public transport?

Many small businesses are being forced to close because they cannot compete with multinational corporations. What problems does this cause, and how can those problems be solved?

Compare new and old generation's interests you can mention. Advantages and disadvantages of their interest.