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Writing Samples
Band 7.5

Nowadays both men and women spend a lot of money on beauty care. This was not so in the past. What may be the root cause of this behavior? Discuss the reasons and possible results.

#men #women #money #beauty #care #was #root #behavior #results
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In today’s world, cosmetics productions are used more than ever.
Therefore
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, a huge amount of cash has been spent on those materials, which make us to seem younger and more attractive.
However
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, the pressure of being attractive was not in the past. So,
this
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 attitude should be originated and created by a definite purpose.
Therefore
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, there is a need to investigate about the reasons and effects of it. At
first
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, it should be investigated that what can be reasoned. It is considerable that people like to be compared with superstars like actors and actresses’ behaviour and try to imitate them. So,
this
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 imitation would affect not only to their clothing and behaviour, but
also
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 it definitely has an impact on their natural appearance.
Therefore
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, you can see the usage of these elegance care subjects are more in a portion of society who are between 20 to 40, because they are more in the life style of the stars.
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, people believe that as a person seems more attractive, they would take more attentions. So, they can be more successful. Unfortunately, head managers tend to employ more charming girls or boys, at least for the jobs which are connected to people.
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, we can mention cashiers, flight attendants, or travel agents. We should not forget the great amount of money which is made in the commerce of those materials. By the knowing the clues and the roots of it, we can be aware of its unwanted results. A society and mainly adults and matures are really on a risk of losing their natural appearance. If they just use some cosmetic stuffs to seem more beautiful, make themselves younger, or even try to keep their skin more appealing, it does not hurt. But they do some sorts of surgeries to take care of their skins or they put on makeup in a way that they disguise.
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 why, when you are in a party, you think that you are in a beauty contest. So,
that is
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 why the natural elegance of a society dies down.
For example
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, between 2010 to 2015, in some middle eastern countries, having a small nose seems to be a factor of looking beautiful and so many people try to have a surgery for
this
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 purpose. All in one, there was a belief in the past that the most interesting thing that make you seem beautiful was the inner beauty, which has been changed as the years go by. In fact, Spending money on those care productions can be necessary to make your appearance better. But insisting on using them, more than the needs, is wasting money and even it can become a mental illness. Indeed, if we do not try to quit
this
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 habit, the biggest result would be a ruin changing of the definition of beauty sense.

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • 1. Proliferation
  • 2. Adhere to
  • 3. Celebrities and influencers
  • 4. Discretionary spending
  • 5. Self-esteem
  • 6. Attractiveness
  • 7. Technological advancements
  • 8. High-quality products and services
  • 9. Health consciousness
  • 10. Holistic wellness
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