IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

Large shopping malls are replacing small shops. Do you think it is a positive or negative development?

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In recent years, there has been an increasing
number
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 of shopping
malls
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 being built, leading to the disappearance of small
stores
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. In my opinion,
this
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 change brings about both positive and negative impacts, though the impacts are more negative in the long term. On the one hand, the boom in the
number
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 of shopping
malls
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 has
offered
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offered
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customers
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 a wide range of benefits. First of all,
people
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 can now save time shopping thanks to the availability of many types of
stores
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 located in
the
Correct article usage
apply
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one complex. Shopping
malls
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offer
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offer
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 groceries, clothing, and books, alongside food courts and entertainment facilities, all under the one roof.
This
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 provides a lot of convenience to
people
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 who choose to shop there
instead
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 of in separate smaller
stores
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.
Moreover
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, shopping
malls
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 usually
offer
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offer
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 more discounts and promotions that
customers
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 can benefit from, when compared to small
stores
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.
Furthermore
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, smaller
stores
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 cannot usually provide
customers
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 with the added advantage of large, convenient and safe parking facilities that most shopping
malls
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offer
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offer
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.
As a result
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, more and more
people
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 are choosing to shop at large shopping
malls
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, leading to a decrease in the
number
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 of
people
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 purchasing goods from small shops. There
is
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are
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,
however
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, a
number
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 of benefits to
people
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 and communities that shopping in smaller
stores
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 can bring.
For example
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,
locally-owned
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locally owned
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, family-run
businesses
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 are more likely to provide
a
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apply
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friendlier and better customer service than larger shopping
malls
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 and chain
stores
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.
In addition
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, more locally owned small
businesses
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 are better for local economies and communities in the long term, by providing more employment, profits and income to local
people
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. In conclusion, the proliferation of shopping
malls
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 could have positive
effects
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effects
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 on
customers
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, but it is likely to drive small local
businesses
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 out of business
,
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apply
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 and have a negative impact on local economies, with most profits being taken by non-local
businesses
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.

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coherence cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph directly relates to the main topic and provides clear supporting details for the argument.
task response
Provide more specific examples to support the points made in the essay, and pay attention to addressing all aspects of the topic, both positive and negative.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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