IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 5.5

Large shopping malls are replacing small shops. Do you think it is a positive or negative development?

#malls #shops #development
In recent years, there has been an increasing
number
 of shopping
malls
 being built, leading to the disappearance of small
stores
. In my opinion,
this
 change brings about both positive and negative impacts, though the impacts are more negative in the long term. On the one hand, the boom in the
number
 of shopping
malls
 has
offered
Correct your spelling
offered
show examples
customers
 a wide range of benefits. First of all,
people
 can now save time shopping thanks to the availability of many types of
stores
 located in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
one complex. Shopping
malls
offer
Correct your spelling
offer
show examples
 groceries, clothing, and books, alongside food courts and entertainment facilities, all under the one roof.
This
 provides a lot of convenience to
people
 who choose to shop there
instead
 of in separate smaller
stores
.
Moreover
, shopping
malls
 usually
offer
Correct your spelling
offer
show examples
 more discounts and promotions that
customers
 can benefit from, when compared to small
stores
.
Furthermore
, smaller
stores
 cannot usually provide
customers
 with the added advantage of large, convenient and safe parking facilities that most shopping
malls
offer
Correct your spelling
offer
show examples
.
As a result
, more and more
people
 are choosing to shop at large shopping
malls
, leading to a decrease in the
number
 of
people
 purchasing goods from small shops. There
is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
show examples
,
however
, a
number
 of benefits to
people
 and communities that shopping in smaller
stores
 can bring.
For example
,
locally-owned
Correct your spelling
locally owned
show examples
, family-run
businesses
 are more likely to provide
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
friendlier and better customer service than larger shopping
malls
 and chain
stores
.
In addition
, more locally owned small
businesses
 are better for local economies and communities in the long term, by providing more employment, profits and income to local
people
. In conclusion, the proliferation of shopping
malls
 could have positive
effects
Correct your spelling
effects
show examples
 on
customers
, but it is likely to drive small local
businesses
 out of business
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 and have a negative impact on local economies, with most profits being taken by non-local
businesses
.
Submitted by buyanaa1992ss on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

coherence cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph directly relates to the main topic and provides clear supporting details for the argument.
task response
Provide more specific examples to support the points made in the essay, and pay attention to addressing all aspects of the topic, both positive and negative.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: