IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

Some people believe that it is best to accept a bad situation such as an unsatisfactory job or shortage of money Others argue that it is better to try and improve such situations Discuss both these views and give your own opinion

#people #situation #job #shortage #money #situations
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
The chart gives information about how much
money
Use synonyms
 earned from
exporing
inquire into
exploring
exporting
 in several items in a country in the two years (2015 and 2016) and units were measured in
billon
the number that is represented as a one followed by 9 zeros
billion
billions
 dollars. The table chart illustrates the
percentage
Use synonyms
 change in
values
Suggestion
the values
 of each product of exports in 2016, compared with 2015. Overall, almost the items in 2016 had the highest amount of
money
Use synonyms
 than that in 2015 except engineered products. Simultaneously, the categories related to textiles had the highest
percentage
Use synonyms
 of
increase
Use synonyms
 from 2015 to 2016.
First
Linking Words
 of all, there
was
Suggestion
were
 about 72
billion
Use synonyms
dollars which
Accept comma addition
dollars, which
was gained
Suggestion
were gained
 from exporting petroleum products in 2016,
this
Linking Words
 figure was higher than that in 2015 (around 61
billion
Use synonyms
 dollars). Meanwhile, the amount of
money
Use synonyms
 earned in 2016 still was higher than that in 2015 in exporting engineered goods with around 61 billowing dollars and nearly 58
billon
the number that is represented as a one followed by 9 zeros
billion
 dollars respectively.
In contrast
Linking Words
, there was a distinctive difference from two previous items that the number of
money
Use synonyms
 earned in 2015 was higher than that in 2016 in exporting gems and jewellery with almost 42
billion
Use synonyms
 dollars and nearly 41 dollars.
In addition
Linking Words
, the amount of
money
Use synonyms
 earned in both 2015 and 2016
year
Suggestion
years
 had about the same figure with around 31
billion
Use synonyms
 dollars in agricultural products.
Moreover
Linking Words
, around 26
billion
Use synonyms
 dollars and almost 31
billion
Use synonyms
 dollars were the number of
money
Use synonyms
 earned in exporting
textiles
Suggestion
textile
 goods in 2015 and 2016 year
respec
Suggestion
.
Secondly
Linking Words
, the
percentage
Use synonyms
 change in almost categories tended to
increase
Use synonyms
 from 2015 to 2016 excluded gems and jewellery goods. Specially,
textiles
Suggestion
textile
 goods had the highest
percentage
Use synonyms
 change in 2016 compared to 2015
with
Suggestion
to
 15.24 percent, while there was
inly
and nothing more
only
 0.
81%
Suggestion
A 81 % increase
increase
Use synonyms
 belonged to agricultural products. The petroleum products and engineered goods had the
increase
Use synonyms
percentage
Use synonyms
 with 3% and 8.5
% respectively
Accept comma addition
%, respectively
.
Finally
Linking Words
, the
percentage
Use synonyms
 of gems and jewellery items decreased 5.18 percent in 2016 compared to 2015.
Submitted by shahzods70365 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • adversity
  • resilience
  • stoicism
  • contentment
  • cope
  • adapt
  • endure
  • persevere
  • settle
  • ambition
  • tenacious
  • determined
  • resourceful
  • optimistic
  • self-improvement
  • proactive
  • initiative
  • transform
  • overcome
  • confront
What to do next:
Look at other essays: