IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Some people think governments should increase the cost of fuel for cars and other vehicles in order to solve environmental problems. To what extend do you agree or disagree?

#people #governments #cost #fuel #cars #vehicles
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Nowadays many
Accept comma addition
Nowadays, many
 people choose to be self-employed, rather than to work for a company or organization. Why might
this
 be the case. What could be the disadvantages of being self-employed. These days an overwhelming majority of people choose to run their own
business
 rather than being employed by other
business
. I am of the opinion that strong desire to be wealthy and
also
 regular
business
 seminars encourage people to start their own
business
.
However
, they may face some difficulties in
future
Suggestion
the future
.
There
Suggestion
They're
Their
 some prominent reasons why people choose to run their own
business
.
Firstly
, in many modern societies entrepreneurship is greatly encouraged by a large number of
business
 seminars and workshops advertisements. These seminars and workshops not only provide individuals with any information which they need to set up their own
business
,
Accept space
,
but
also people are being
Suggestion
people are also being
 told that they have no limit and can easily become as wealthy as a Steve Jobs is.
Moreover
,
individuals particularly
Accept comma addition
individuals, particularly
 those who are willing to be a
business
 person and live in luxury are convinced that start their own
business
.
On the other hand
, there are some drawbacks associated with self-employment. The
first
 issue that self-employed may face is the necessity of being a jack of all trades specially if the company is very small and they have not enough money
.
Accept space
.
 They have to be an accountant, human resource manager and so forth at the same time. It is because they are not able to hire other people to do these tasks.
Furthermore
, they had to pay
tax
Suggestion
taxes
 and provide their employees with decent working condition.
Moreover
, due to the fact that companies these days are facing fierce competition, many of them are not able to pay their own bills and debt and go bankrupt. In conclusion, I am of the opinion that being your own master has many downsides and
that is
 why many people decide to work
to
Suggestion
for
with
 other companies or
business
.
Submitted by m.salehi1000 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: