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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

Some people say that ebook and modern technology will totally replace traditional newspaper and magazine. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

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Introduction
In
this
Linking Words
 modern era, it is undeniable that
technology
Use synonyms
 plays a significant role in
people
Use synonyms
’s lives. Some individuals believe that the community will start using
e-books
Use synonyms
 and modern
technology
Use synonyms
 rather than traditional
newspapers
Use synonyms
 and journals. I partially agree with
this
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 statement , and in
this
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 essay, I will explain my thoughts with reasons to provide support for them.
Body paragraph 1
To begin
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 with,
e-books
Use synonyms
 are cheap and easily accessible for folks. To illustrate,
people
Use synonyms
 will often prefer
e-books
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, as these books can be downloaded on their phone
while
Linking Words
 working on something else , and they can
also
Linking Words
 get it in reasonable price as compared to old
newspapers
Use synonyms
 and magazines, which are very expensive because of their manufacturing costs.
For instance
Linking Words
, as per a recent report by the Department of India Media, youngsters are reading news or comics on online platforms by using apps
such
Linking Words
 as Spotify.
Thus
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,
e-books
Use synonyms
 have been replacing traditional
newspapers
Use synonyms
.
Body paragraph 2
On the other hand
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,
newspapers
Use synonyms
 and magazines are good to improve reading
skills
Use synonyms
, and
also
Linking Words
 help to take a break from
technology
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. To clarify,
people
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 are using a lot of
technology
Use synonyms
, which they are suffering from stress or become addicted to it.
Therefore
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, by reading traditional
newspapers
Use synonyms
 and magazines ,
people
Use synonyms
 can distract themselves for some time, and
also
Linking Words
,
this
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 will help to improve their reading
skills
Use synonyms
 by reading news on paper rather than listening to
e-books
Use synonyms
Body paragraph 3
Use synonyms
Body paragraph 4
It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary , and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.
Body paragraph 5
.
For example
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, job seekers who give entrance exams for jobs always read
newspapers
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 because these reading
skills
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 help them to prepare themselves for the exam.
Hence
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, traditional
newspapers
Use synonyms
 will never disappear from the community.
Conclusion
In conclusion, some
people
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 say
newspapers
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 will completely disappear because
people
Use synonyms
 prefer
e-books
Use synonyms
 and
technology
Use synonyms
, but
newspapers
Use synonyms
 help job seekers to get a job , and it helps to improve reading
skills
Use synonyms
.
Thus
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, both
e-books
Use synonyms
 and traditional
newspapers
Use synonyms
 will keep existing in future

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task response
Make your main view more exact. You say paper news will never disappear, but you do not fully explain how far you agree that online reading will replace it. State that online news may replace much paper news, but not all of it.
task response
Use the right words for the topic. “E-books” are usually books, not news or magazines. Say “online news”, “digital newspapers”, “news apps”, or “online magazines” when you mean news on a phone.
task response
Give stronger support for each point. For example, explain that online news can be updated at once, while a paper newspaper cannot change after it is printed.
task response
Your example about Spotify does not fit well because Spotify is mainly for music and audio. Use a more fitting example, such as a news app, an online newspaper, or a school library website.
task response
Do not include notes to yourself in the essay. Remove the part that begins “Use synonyms”. It breaks the essay and does not answer the question.
coherence and cohesion
Keep one clear idea in each body part. In the second body part, focus on why some people still choose paper news, then explain this idea with one clear example.
coherence and cohesion
Some links between ideas are not clear. For example, “people are using a lot of technology, which they are suffering from stress” is hard to follow. Write: “Because many people use screens for many hours, they may feel stressed or tired.”
coherence and cohesion
Avoid repeating the same idea in the end. The last part repeats that newspapers help with jobs and reading. Instead, sum up your view in one or two direct lines.
coherence and cohesion
Use linking words in a natural way. Do not add a linker at the start of every sentence. Make sure each linker shows a real link, such as contrast, cause, or example.
task response
You give a clear view: you partly agree. You also show both sides, with reasons for online reading and for paper reading.
task response
Your main ideas are on the topic. Low cost, easy use, less screen time, and reading practice are all useful points.
coherence and cohesion
The essay has a clear start, two main body parts, and an ending. This makes it easy to follow.
coherence and cohesion
You use linking words such as “To begin with”, “On the other hand”, “For instance”, and “In conclusion” to show the order of your ideas.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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