Essay #1: Technology have changed the way children spend their free time. Do the advantages of this outweigh disadvantages?

#technology #children #time #outweigh

It is said that electronic devices have altered how juvenile users enjoy their spare time. In my opinion, the benefits are brought by

this

tendency totally outweighed the drawbacks. On the one hand, Internet addiction may put you at risk of physical illness and passive life style. It is proved that keeping eyes glued to screens and consoles for a long period of time will lead to poor vision, backache and headache.

Moreover

this

reality develops a sedentary style of living

that is

extremely detrimental for the adequate growth of children.

For instance

, children with lack of social interaction and outdoor activities are more likely to have communication barriers and physical laziness as grownups than others.

Nevertheless

, advanced technology offers us brilliant chances to broaden our knowledge, expose to information and connect people all around the world easily. Thanks to interactive software and online courses, learning how to master a skill has been simplified than ever.

For instance

, a new language can be learned effectively, effortlessly, freely and excitingly through applications or websites with only a few simple clicks.

Furthermore

, the growth of social media and search engines have facilitated the communications throughout the world.

For example

, digital devices

such

as computers, smart phones or tablets allow them to open a meeting from home, update the hottest news in every part of the world conveniently and easily. Despite of the cons,

this

direction has clearly given a boost to life efficiency and heightened the quality of life.

Therefore

, I strongly believe that the advantages are more significant than the disadvantages.

Submitted by dhang2003 on Mon May 04 2020

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

Summary
Restatement of thesis
Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

In conclusion
To conclude
To summarize
Finally
In a nutshell
In general

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9Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0Grammar mistakes
 

3 paragraphs

260 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 9.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Essay #1: Technology have changed the way children spend their free time. Do the advantages of this outweigh disadvantages?

Include an introduction and conclusion

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Increasing the price of petrol is the best way to solve growing traffic and polution problems. To what extent do you agree or disagree? What ather measures do you think might be effective.

Some people say that the only reason for learning a foreign language is in oder to travel to or work in a foreign country. Others say that these are not the only reasons why someone should learn a foreign language. Discuss both of these views and give your opinion.

Some parents buy their children a large number of toys to play with. What are the advantages and disadvantages for the child having a large number of toys?

In some countries, companies allow people to work from home. In others, people are still expected to work in an office. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

Some people claim that it is acceptable to use animals in medical research for the benefit of human beings, while others argue that it is wrong. Discuss both views and give your opinion.