The tourism industry has grown enormously over the last fifty years, and there are few places which are unaffected by it. However, tourism rarely benefits the countries which tourists visit. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Throughout 50 years, the tourism sector has expanded significantly and there are some places which were suffered because of
this
;
however
, at the same time, tourism has had
apositive
Correct your spelling
a positive
impact on countries, attracting more and more visitors. Personally, I partially agree with
this
statement. Even though the excessive
number
of
tourists
can boost the
economy
of the state, it might
also
cause damage to eye-catching locations and landmarks, which can be tough to recover these places later on. On the one hand, attracting
tourists
can infl uence the
economy
of the country.
This
is because more attractions are needed to enhance and conserve them each year.
That is
to say, if foreign individuals'
number
increases, so the
number
of businesses do.
As a result
, more businesses can pay to the government, like a tax due in the long run. To illustrate, in Turkey, there are about 30 million travellers, who visit every year and attend local restaurants or other local attractions. The higher the
number
of
tourists
, the more income for the government. Despite the influence on the
economy
,
tourists
can harm places by littering. Since all
tourists
are mindfully differentiated, they can either harm or understand the price of the attraction.
For example
, the French parliament estimates per year the amount of garbage, caused by visitors and overwhelmed that it increases with the
number
of
tourists
.
That is
why I think, the
number
of
tourists
can influence on local environment dramatically. In conclusion,
although
it brings impacts on the
economy
,
tourists
might damage the environment, which cannot be recovered in the future.
Submitted by mako_09.01 on

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task achievement
The essay addresses both sides of the argument to some extent, but the response could have been more detailed. Try to elaborate on your points further to give a more comprehensive response, and include additional specific examples to support your arguments more effectively.
coherence cohesion
The essay could benefit from smoother transitions between paragraphs and within paragraphs. Ensure each idea flows logically into the next, and use linking words and phrases to guide the reader. The structure is generally clear, but the logical progression of ideas could be improved.
task achievement
The essay presents a clear stance on the topic and attempts to balance the argument by discussing both positive and negative impacts of tourism.
coherence cohesion
The introduction and conclusion are present and provide a clear framework for the essay.

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    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
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    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
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    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
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  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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