Some people argue that because the internet makes it so easy for children to access facts, schools should not focus on teaching facts. Instead, they should focus on developing children’s skills and potential, and their relationships with other people. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

There is a dramatic change in education brought about by the growing advancement of technology today. It has become a more contentious issue on how children should learn. Some adults believe that school should promote their
skills
and potential and relationships with others as they tend to rely on electric gadgets to gain much
information
by themselves. I generally disagree with
this
, for academic
knowledge
maintains its importance to make a better choice in the future. On the one hand, there will be more benefits since students increase their sense of satisfaction when
schools
concentrate on developing their individual
skills
.
In other words
, they are more motivated to externalize their opinions and talents than to sit quietly and take notes in lectures.
For instance
, students are more likely to improve social
skills
including communication
skills
, leadership, and teamwork through their participation in presentations and discussions.
This
results in boosting their fulfilment as they are required to make a positive commitment and utilise various intelligence and techniques.
In contrast
, the traditional teaching style which tends to put more focus on
knowledge
is no longer able to satisfy their mind of curiosity with the flood of
information
available on their own smartphone and computer.
On the other hand
, in spite of
such
incredible advantages, the significance of academic
knowledge
should not be ignored because they are promoted to increase the sophistication of individuals.
While
online
information
is often based on no facts and evidence easily posted by anonymous writers,
schools
play a fundamental role in providing a dependable source of
information
whose contents are strictly checked by professional educators. Indeed, the accumulation of valuable
knowledge
allows them to make correct decisions in life.
For example
, understanding the kinds of nutrients included in each fruit and vegetable promotes their awareness of the importance of food and avoiding unhealthy products.
Therefore
,
schools
should maintain their primary role to give useful
knowledge
which directly impacts their life. In conclusion, the growing impact of technological gadgets may reduce the importance of
schools
in providing
information
.
However
, it should take the primary responsibility to give trusted facts so they are more likely to make an appropriate choice in life.
As a result
, increasing
knowledge
of the truth will allow students to distinguish the difference between right and wrong.
Submitted by mizuho on

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Task Achievement
Ensure a clear thesis statement is presented in the introduction that directly addresses the question. This will guide the reader and clarify your stance from the beginning.
Task Achievement
Develop your examples further with specific details or statistics to strengthen your argument. While the current examples provide a basic understanding, more detailed examples could enhance the essay's persuasive power.
Coherence & Cohesion
Use a variety of linking words and phrases to create smoother transitions between sentences and paragraphs. This will improve the flow of the essay and make your ideas more coherent.
Coherence & Cohesion
Organize paragraphs effectively, with clear topic sentences that state the main idea of each paragraph. Follow this with supporting sentences and a concluding sentence if possible.

Word Count

IELTS says that you should write a minimum of 250 words in writing task 2. If you go under word count you will lose marks in task response.

A very long essay will not give you a higher band score.

Aim for between 260 to 290 words in writing task 2. This will ensure a concise essay and will be realistic in terms of time management. You have only 40 minutes to write the essay and you need around 10 minutes of planning time, so you will not be able to write a long essay in 30 minutes.

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