Some people say that the best way to improve public health is by increasing the number of sports facilities. Others, however, say that this would have little effect on public health and that other measures are required. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

The people ask what the governments should do in order to reduce a rate of death relating to the obese.
This
question divides people into several campuses. The
first
ca
mpus says t
Accept comma addition
campus, says
hat it says needlessly that the
sport
organizations could play a major role to curb
this
health issue.
However
, an
other c
not the same one or ones already mentioned or implied
other
ampus counters
this
vision, seeing pivotal flaws on
this
suggest.
Firstly
, it is apparent that an
increase
number
of
sport
clubs will bring advantages.
First
, when a competition between sp
ecific type o
Suggestion
a specific type
specific types
f business companies goes up, their customer service be
come b
Suggestion
becomes
etter. For
this
reason, if the governments supported
sport
clubs to
increase
their branches, their price would go down.
As a result
, their subscription may become affordable for everyone.
Secondly
, some countryside ha
ve i
Suggestion
has
nsufficient
sport
facilitates requiring
in
crease t
Suggestion
increased
heir
number
to become available for these people.
Consequently
, the villager people will have chances to practice exercises.
On the other hand
, sk
eptics s
Suggestion
sceptic
sceptics
ide ca
st s
Suggestion
casts
ome doubts on
this
suggest. A major criticism is that
this
propose has limited ability to reduce the obese cases, and it does not have sp
ecifics s
Suggestion
specific
cale.
For example
, while the U.S.A has a high percentage of
sport
clubs, it
also
has a high
number
of overweight cases.
However
, the governments will face ch
allenge w
Suggestion
challenges
hen wanting to major
this
propose. If the public health minister wanted to engage the re
duce o
Suggestion
reduction
f people weight, some people would pretend that
this
is
violate t
Suggestion
is violating
has violated
violates
heir privacy right.
Nevertheless
, these criticisms are exaggerated for several reasons.
Firstly
, while it truly says that the U.S.A has exaggerated
nu
mber o
Suggestion
the number
f overweight, but overpopulated country. For
this
reason, there are no ways to compare America with others.
Secondly
, the public minster with these cl
ub l
Suggestion
clubs
egitimately decide to ask these club’s cu
stomer t
Suggestion
customers
o measure their weight every month. In conclusion, the problem is that whether the governmental offices should participate to
increase
the
sport
area or not. Some people negatively think about
this
idea, having seen limit benefit.
This
claim is challenged by logical evidence. It seems to my thinking way that it seems clear
this
idea will help people to join in
sport
team and reduce the terminal diseases.
Submitted by aalhilal on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • public health
  • sports facilities
  • physical activity
  • exercise
  • chronic diseases
  • heart disease
  • obesity
  • inclusivity
  • participation
  • safe environment
  • social interaction
  • community engagement
  • comprehensive approach
  • health education programs
  • environmental factors
  • healthcare infrastructure
  • quality healthcare services
  • public health initiatives
What to do next:
Look at other essays: