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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

Shopping has become a favorite pastime among young people. Why do you think it is like that? Do you think they must be encouraged to do other things rather than shopping?

#pastime #people
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It is certainly true that young ones spend their leisure day on various shops for shopping as shopping has become a favourite pastime among young people.
Although
 shopping plays a significant role in their lives, other activities should be introduced.
This
 essay will highlight how the younger must be motivated to do other tasks
instead
 of shopping. There are copious numbers of reasons why young generations are more driven towards shopping in their free moment.
Firstly
, the most conspicuous one is that as gigantic shopping complex offers myriad of products ranging from clothes to shoes, the young are tempted to purchase these trendy clothes and expensive shoes in their spare occasion.
For instance
, a research conducted by the University of Western Sydney revealed that around 65% of the younger spend more than two hours for shopping in the mall.
Secondly
, younger are easily influenced by their peer groups who usually invest in the window shopping, encourage them to do shopping without any reasons.
In other words
, during holidays, younger make shopping online as they become addicted to it. To cite an example, the majority of sales are coming from younger people during their free moment.
Nevertheless
 , there are certain measures to motivate them to indulge in other activities. It is generally believed that making them involved in volunteer services and teaching them to do their bit for the society they live in, would definitely help them to grow as a responsible citizen. As, sport and art are the prominent way in order to ward off boredom, indulge in creative activities to abide their leisure. To exemplify, some of the students start art classes and participate in sports during their spare time that definitely assist to demonstrate their acumen in spare
second
. To conclude, it can be said that
although
 shopping has become a favourite pastime among young people, there is a dire need to encourage younger to participate in other activities like sports and arts.
Submitted by banipreet2 on

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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