IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 4.5

in some countries, it is now for people to buy product made in other countries .to what extent do the benefits of this development outweigh the problem?

#countries #people #product #development
it
Suggestion
It
 is not unusual for consumers to purchase imported merchandise thanks to the development of globalization.
there
Suggestion
There
 are concerns about the negative impact on
local economy
Suggestion
the local economy
,
Accept space
,
yet
such
 concerns should not obscure the good that comes from the variety of products. Importing products can benefit the local people by improving their living standard.
imported
Suggestion
Imported
 products are normally from companies which have
whizzy
 equipment and prefect logistics.
the
Suggestion
The
 customers would have access to a wide range of goods with high quality
,
Accept space
,
from the food to clothing and cosmetics to private cars.
for
Suggestion
For
 example
,
Accept space
,
 young ladies in my country prefer buying
skincare
Suggestion
skin care
 products made in France or Japan for their wonderful effect
.
Accept space
.
Furthermore
,
Accept space
,
importing would boost innovation of products. That
oversea
Suggestion
over sea
 productions flow into the local market will lead to fierce competition between merchandises made in different countries
.
Accept space
.
to
Suggestion
To
 appeal more consumers, they have to be creative enough to upgrade their produces.
otherwise
Suggestion
Otherwise
,
Accept space
,
they are bound to be obsoleted by the market. One problem is that the importing products would damage local small business to some extent.
in
Suggestion
In
 the less developed area
,
Accept space
,
the local firms
have not generate
Suggestion
have not generated
 the large-scale economy
,
Accept space
,
so they are not able to employ high-tech equipment to fight back with the foreign products
.
Accept space
.
owning
Suggestion
Owning
 to the less competitive
,
Accept space
,
their market share will be squeezed by the oversea products.
as
Suggestion
As
 a result
,
Accept space
,
 some small companies which do not have enough financial support have to go
to
Suggestion
into
 bankruptcy.
it
Suggestion
It
 is a tragedy. In conclusion
,
Accept space
,
i
refers to the speaker or writer
I
 believe that importing products can bring benefits to the local
such
 as superior goods and product innovation
although
 it does harm to the local business.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
What to do next:
Look at other essays: