In many countries, the government likes to spend more money on arts. However, others think government should spend more money on health and education. Discuss both sides and give your opinion.

#countries #government #money #arts #health #education

Different sphere

are developed

Suggestion

is developed

has developed

in different countries. Art,

education

health

are the principal part of all nations. Some people think the government should allocate funds on

health

and

education

more than

art but

Accept comma addition

art, but

other individuals against

this

opinion. In

this

essay, I will discuss both

views but

Accept comma addition

views, but

from my point of view, the ministry should spend more attention on

study

Suggestion

the study

and

health

Firstly

, Art represents the culture and history of

this

state and

this

has a positive impact on tourism. Humanity go to another county not only for relaxing, they want to learn or know about the new culture and background. The museum, theatre, art gallery, musical

entertainment most

Accept comma addition

entertainment, most

are

visited

Suggestion

visiting

places in any country and these things attract more people.

Also

, Art reduces stress and

this

one of the usual problems in any area. Painting, sculpting, drawing, and photography

are relaxing

Suggestion

is relaxing

and rewarding hobbies that can lower our stress levels and lead to an overall improvement in well-being.

However

, if

government

Suggestion

the government

spend

Suggestion

spends

more money on

health

it leads that people can receive good medical service and treatment. Every citizen of a country deserves good

health

and it may reduce various diseases in human by the help of new

technological

Suggestion

technology

technologies

medical devices. Investing in

education

best investment

Suggestion

the best investment

for the nation. It has a huge beneficial effect on the literacy of

people

Suggestion

the people

. By Opening new schools a lot of children and adults can receive a good

education

Also I

Accept comma addition

Also, I

throw or toss with a light motion

toss

reduce the unemployment rate if people acquire great schooling and they can easily find jobs To conclude, Art

attract

Suggestion

attracts

tourists and reduce stress,

health

and

education

helps the lifestyle of people. From my point of view,

second

choice has more benefits for society.

Submitted by islomovv.u on Tue May 05 2020

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Fully explain your ideas

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Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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5Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
15Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

281 words

4.00

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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In many countries, the government likes to spend more money on arts. However, others think government should spend more money on health and education. Discuss both sides and give your opinion.

Fully explain your ideas

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There is too much noise in many public places in cities. What are the causes of this problem? What can be done to solve the problem?

Plastic shopping bags contribute to the pollution of land and sea. Some people think that they should be banned. Do you agree or disagree?