IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

Increasing the price of petrol is the best way to solve growing traffic and polution probloms. To what extend do you agree or disagree? What other measures might be effictive ?

6.5 / 9
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Introduction
In recent years,
traffic
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congestion
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 and air pollution have become serious problems in
mant
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many
 cities. Some
people
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 argue that raising
petrol
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prices
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 is the most effective way to address these issues.
Although
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 higher fuel
prices
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 may discourage
people
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 from driving,
i
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I
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 disagree that
this
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 is the best solution, as improving public
transport
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 and promoting environmentally friendly
vehicles
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 could be more
affective
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effective
show examples
.
Body paragraph 1
To begin
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 with, increasing
petrol
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prices
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 may reduce the number of
vehicles
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 on the road, but it could
also
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 create financial difficulties for many
people
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.
For example
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, individuals who live in rural areas often depend on private cars because public
transport
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 is limited.
As a result
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, they would have no choice but to pay higher fuel costs, which could put additional pressure on their household budgets.
Furthermore
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, higher
petrol
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prices
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 may increase transportation costs for businesses, potentially leading to higher
prices
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 for everyday goods.
Therefore
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,
this
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 approach could negatively affect the economy without significantly reducing
traffic
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congestion
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.
Body paragraph 2
Instead
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 of relying mainly on higher fuel
prices
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, governments should invest in more efficient public
transport
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 systems.
For instance
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, providing affordable and reliable buses and trains would encourage more
people
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 to leave their cars at home.
This
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 could reduce both
traffic
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congestion
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 and harmful emissions.
In addition
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, governments could offer financial incentives for electric
vehicles
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 and expand charging infrastructure.
Although
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 electric cars cannot completely solve
traffic
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 problems, they can help reduce air pollution, particularly in urban areas. These measures would provide more sustainable solutions in the long term.
Conclusion
In conclusion,
while
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 increasing
petrol
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prices
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 may discourage some
people
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 from driving, I believe it is not the most effective approach. Improving public
transport
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 and encouraging the use of cleaner
vehicles
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 would be more practical and sustainable ways to tackle
traffic
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congestion
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 and pollution.

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Task response
You answer both parts of the question clearly. You state your view, explain why higher petrol costs may not work well, and give other ways to help.
Task response
To make your view even stronger, add one more clear detail about how better buses or trains can cut the number of cars. For example, say that fast, low-cost trains can help people travel to work without driving.
Task response
Your examples fit your main ideas. The example about people in rural areas is useful. You could also add a short real-life example for electric cars or bus lanes.
Coherence and cohesion
Your essay is easy to follow. The first body part shows the limits of higher petrol costs, and the next body part gives better ways.
Coherence and cohesion
Your link words are clear and natural, such as “For example”, “As a result”, “Furthermore”, and “In addition”. Try not to use too many link words in one paragraph; make sure each one adds a clear step in the idea.
Coherence and cohesion
The start and end work well together. In the end, you repeat your main view and the two main ways to help. You could make the last sentence a little stronger by saying that these ways work for both traffic and air quality.
Task response
Your main view is clear from the start: higher petrol prices may help, but they are not the best answer.
Task response
You give useful reasons for your view, including the cost for people who need cars and the possible rise in the cost of goods.
Coherence and cohesion
Each paragraph has one main job, and the ideas move in a clear order from problem to other answers.
Coherence and cohesion
The final paragraph gives a clear, short summary of your view and main points.
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