IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 4

Tourism is increased in many countries. Does tourism brings more advantages or disadvantages to a country

#tourism #countries #country
Nowadays, more and more
people
 are wishing to explore different parts of the world. That's the reason
tourism
 is one of the
fastest growing
Add a hyphen
fastest-growing
show examples
industry
Fix the agreement mistake
industries
show examples
 right now and is generating huge revenues for the countries. I believe that
tourism
outweigh
Change the verb form
outweighs
show examples
 the disadvantages it brings to the community. To
began
Change the form of the verb
begin
show examples
 with,
tourism
 directly contributes to the
country
 's economy.
This
 is because it boosts the local business, which in turn generates higher tax
payment
Fix the agreement mistake
payments
show examples
 to the
state
 .
For example
 ,
Pakistani
Correct article usage
the Pakistani
show examples
 government collected 10 billion
of
Change preposition
in
show examples
tax
Fix the agreement mistake
taxes
show examples
 in the fiscal year 2018 alone because of the boost in local business, where
average
Correct article usage
the average
show examples
 tax collection
has
Wrong verb form
had
show examples
 been just 2 billion in the previous years.
Secondly
 ,
tourism
 helps in improving the
country
 's image in front of the world community.
This
 is mainly because tourist always prefer to go to safe places and when they return to their home
country
 , they tell their
people
 about the security and hospitality of the
ones
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
nation.
For instance
 , before 2018, Pakistan was considered
as
Change preposition
apply
show examples
a terrorist
state
 ,
however
Add a comma
,
show examples
since 2019, when
people
 from all around the world started visiting Pakistan, it changed the
country
 's image from a terrorist
state
 to a friendly
state
 .
On the other hand
 , there are some disadvantages of
tourism
 but when compared with the advantages it brings are deniable.When most of the
people
 go to other states to visit, they may not take care of the cleanliness of that area. They may throw waste on the roads which makes the area dirty and unhygienic.
In other words
 , a lot of
people
 came to Pakistan to visit the famous Karachi
beach
 in 2019, but when they left the
beach
 , they left all their waste at the
beach
 which polluted the environment of the
beach
 .
To sum up
, I believe that
tourism
favour
Change the verb form
favours
show examples
 the
country
 's reputation in a number of ways. If the government introduces rules which
stops
Correct subject-verb agreement
stop
show examples
 the tourists from contributing to pollution,
then
 it is advantageous to the
state
 .
Submitted by rashidasultana133 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Structure your answers in logical paragraphs

The easiest way to score well on the IELTS Task 2 writing portion is to structure your writing in a solid essay format.

A strong argument essay structure can be split up into 4 paragraphs, each containing 4 sentences (except the conclusion paragraph, which only contains 3 sentences).

Stick to this essay structure:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: