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Writing Samples /
Band 3.5

Some parents think it is good to give their children mobile phone, while others disagree. discuss both sides and give your opinion.

#parents #children #phone
One of the most conspicuous trends of today's world is a colossal upsurge in the dwellers opine that it optimum things
to give
Suggestion
give
 their cell
phone
.
Therefore
, I will articulate both debate impending contexts with
instance
Suggestion
the instance
. To embark with, there are manifold merits view parents give mobile.
Firstly
, learner are able to connect with technology while they are
learn
Suggestion
learning
throught
from beginning to end
through
throughout
 the internet. For namely, according to study conducted by
estate newspaper
Suggestion
an estate newspaper
of
Suggestion
in
india
a republic in the Asian subcontinent in southern Asia; second most populous country in the world; achieved independence from the United Kingdom in 1947
India
 in 2017, they found that
pupils
Suggestion
pupils'
 awareness all over global news has been boomed
with
Suggestion
by
 56% due to parents give a permission to cell
phone
 in
last year
Suggestion
the last year
.
In addition
, students who visit collage and other education area and parent have know about children face awful
situtation
the general state of things; the combination of circumstances at a given time
situation
situations
 call to
family member
Suggestion
a family member
family members
.
Thus
, only attract mobile
phone
essential
Suggestion
such as essential
such
 as attributes as responsibility and dedication. Paradoxically, there are pitfalls overwhelm potential benefits of masses
belive
accept as true; take to be true
believe
believes
belief
 that it is not better provide smart
phone
 to learners. The primary reason that some Student are misusing web sites while they do not know which website to optimistic and
pessmistic
expecting the worst possible outcome
pessimistic
 to education life. It is
impact
Suggestion
impacting
 on community of ever-style.
Hence
,
scholar
Suggestion
the scholar
is invovle
Suggestion
is involved
is involve
is enviable
 in cyber crime. Student want
do
Suggestion
to do
 criminal activities
wheras
In or at or to what place
where
 children are wanton to
internet
Suggestion
the internet
.
Similiarily
Suggestion
Similarly
, pupils
are not pass
Suggestion
don't pass
 in the final exam. Overall, according to my point of view,
parent
Suggestion
the parent
are allow
Suggestion
is allowing
allows
 smart
phone
 to limitation period merely academics while
sometime
Suggestion
some time
 to relax their body listen music, watch video through mobile.

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • educational apps
  • technical skills
  • cyberbullying
  • inappropriate content
  • screen time
  • safety benefits
  • mitigate
  • regulate
  • balance
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