IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 7.5

Each year, the crime rate increases, what are the causes of crime and what could be done to prevent this rise in criminal activity?

#year #crime #rate #increases #rise #activity
At
this
 present time, the number of crimes is ever increasing. The reasons why people commit crimes are countless.
However
, drugs and alcohol play a major role. To solve
this
 problem, governments can either focus on draconian punishments or tackle drug and alcohol abuse. On the one hand, it is indispensable that the vast majority of people around the world suffer from depression and anxiety.Unfortunately, they escape feeling these negative emotions by doing drugs.
Although
, these substances help alleviate their emotional pain, it poses a threat to their cognitive behaviours.
As a result
, drug users are more likely to commit crimes than others who are not addicted.
For example
, According to statistical data in Italy, about 90% of addicted individuals have been in custodial sentences for at least once in their entire lifetime.
On the other hand
, it is imperative that toughening criminal laws and introducing longer sentences will help reduce the number of crimes.
In other words
, the leading authorities are responsible for preventing use, sale and trafficking in narcotic.
For instance
, in 2014, the Indian government has announced about new regulations aiming to threat the armed criminal gangs to hinder their brutal actions.
Therefore
, most parts in India now are free of narcotics.
In addition
, if governments allocate funds for drug and alcohol rehabilitation programmes, it would certainly reduce the criminal activities. In conclusion, it is true that it takes a tremendous amount of efforts to make the society a safer place to live in; cracking down on criminals and enforcing strong laws are mandatory as well as providing healing programmes to eliminate the dependency on stimulants.
Submitted by kokokimo on

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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