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Band 6.5

The charts below give Information on the ages of the populations of Yemen and Italy In 2000 and projections for 2050.

The charts below give Information on the ages of the populations of Yemen and Italy In 2000 and projections for 2050.
#information #ages #populations #yemen #projections
The pie chart illustrates the proportion of three different aged
population
Fix the agreement mistake
populations
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 who lived in
Yemen
 and Italy in 2002
,
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apply
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 and the prediction
in
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for
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 the total amount of population in the year 2050. Generally speaking, only a few
of
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apply
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elderly
people
 were a citizen of
Yemen
 and
forecast
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were forecast
show examples
 to be slightly higher in
the
Correct article usage
apply
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50
years
 later.
While
,
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apply
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 the majority of Italian aged between 15-59
years
 old and
it
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apply
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the number will shrink in the future. In detail,
Yemen
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in Yemen
show examples
,
a
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apply
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half of
Yemen
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Yemen's
show examples
 citizen was
a
Correct article usage
apply
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young
person
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people
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 (0-14
years
 old)
while
 young
people
is
Change the verb form
are
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 estimated to drop to 37% in 2050. 46.3% were 15-59
years
 old in the initial year.
In addition
, the number will increase by 11% in 2050.
On the contrary
, only 3.6% were elderly
people
 and it
considerably
Add a missing verb
was considerably
show examples
 small when compared to the other aged groups. In the following 50
years
, it's predicted to increase by almost twice. Turning to Italy, the majority of Italian
people
 were aged between 15 and 59
years
 old,
accounted
Wrong verb form
accounting
show examples
 for nearly
two-
Correct your spelling
two-thirds
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third
.
Nevertheless
, 50
years
 later, the population of these
group
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groups
show examples
 is estimated to reduce to just under
a
Correct article usage
apply
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half. Almost one-fourth of
Add an article
the citizen
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citizen
Fix the agreement mistake
citizens
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 were older
people
 and it's forecast to rise by about 18%.
Lastly
, younger
people
 were in a range between 11% and 14% in both
years
.
Submitted by weeracha.r on

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".
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Conclusion: The conclusion is too long.
Vocabulary: Replace the words yemen, people, years with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "increase" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "almost" was used 2 times.
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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • age demographics
  • age structure
  • population distribution
  • youthful population
  • ageing population
  • life expectancy
  • birth rate
  • demographic shift
  • population projection
  • median age
  • dependents
  • working-age population
  • elderly dependents
  • geriatric
  • fertility rate
  • migration
  • demographic trends
  • baby boomers
  • demographic dividend
  • population pyramid
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