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Band 6.5

The charts below give Information on the ages of the populations of Yemen and Italy In 2000 and projections for 2050.

The charts below give Information on the ages of the populations of Yemen and Italy In 2000 and projections for 2050.
#information #ages #populations #yemen #projections
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The pie chart illustrates the proportion of three different aged
population
Fix the agreement mistake
populations
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 who lived in
Yemen
Use synonyms
 and Italy in 2002
,
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apply
show examples
 and the prediction
in
Change preposition
for
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 the total amount of population in the year 2050. Generally speaking, only a few
of
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apply
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elderly
people
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 were a citizen of
Yemen
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 and
forecast
Add a missing verb
were forecast
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 to be slightly higher in
the
Correct article usage
apply
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50
years
Use synonyms
 later.
While
Linking Words
,
Remove the comma
apply
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 the majority of Italian aged between 15-59
years
Use synonyms
 old and
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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the number will shrink in the future. In detail,
Use synonyms
Yemen
Change preposition
in Yemen
show examples
,
a
Remove the article
apply
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half of
Use synonyms
Yemen
Change noun form
Yemen's
show examples
 citizen was
a
Correct article usage
apply
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young
person
Fix the agreement mistake
people
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 (0-14
years
Use synonyms
 old)
while
Linking Words
 young
people
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is
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are
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 estimated to drop to 37% in 2050. 46.3% were 15-59
years
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 old in the initial year.
In addition
Linking Words
, the number will increase by 11% in 2050.
On the contrary
Linking Words
, only 3.6% were elderly
people
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 and it
considerably
Add a missing verb
was considerably
show examples
 small when compared to the other aged groups. In the following 50
years
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, it's predicted to increase by almost twice. Turning to Italy, the majority of Italian
people
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 were aged between 15 and 59
years
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 old,
accounted
Wrong verb form
accounting
show examples
 for nearly
two-
Correct your spelling
two-thirds
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third
Linking Words
.
Nevertheless
Linking Words
, 50
years
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 later, the population of these
group
Fix the agreement mistake
groups
show examples
 is estimated to reduce to just under
a
Correct article usage
apply
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half. Almost one-fourth of
Add an article
the citizen
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citizen
Fix the agreement mistake
citizens
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 were older
people
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 and it's forecast to rise by about 18%.
Lastly
Linking Words
, younger
people
Use synonyms
 were in a range between 11% and 14% in both
years
Use synonyms
.
Submitted by weeracha.r on

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".
▼
Conclusion: The conclusion is too long.
Vocabulary: Replace the words yemen, people, years with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "increase" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "almost" was used 2 times.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • age demographics
  • age structure
  • population distribution
  • youthful population
  • ageing population
  • life expectancy
  • birth rate
  • demographic shift
  • population projection
  • median age
  • dependents
  • working-age population
  • elderly dependents
  • geriatric
  • fertility rate
  • migration
  • demographic trends
  • baby boomers
  • demographic dividend
  • population pyramid
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