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Why do you want this scholarship? Discuss your personal perspective and the benefits you can give to the society

#scholarship #perspective #society
Ever since I was young I have always been quiet and shy. Every individual possesses diverse talents, weakness and strength. And I have always known that one of my weaknesses is a lack of communication
skill
 which I am still working on. I firmly believe that being aware of my weakness gives me a clear understanding of the things
that is
 holding me back.
Therefore
, I decided to challenge myself by playing in a basketball team when basketball tournament held at school in 2018. Even if I tried my best, I spoiled the team by failing to defend an opponent. At a time I received a lot of judgment. From
this
 experience I found a quality to focus on the positivity aspect of judgment which helped me a lot to see my mistakes. And a year after I played on the same team and got silver, which means a lot to me. From my perspective, initial failures are essential part of the success. Since
then
 I started to see the benefits of teamwork
such
 as seeing things from others eye, develop communication
skill
, receiving judgments and learning from others/my mistake. Even though, communication
skill
 plays a significant role in our personal growth, academic
skill
 is as important as it. But the problem is that the quality of education decreases every year owing to under-qualified teachers. Ill-informed teachers are unable to reflect the demands of students and fostering of student's self-esteem. And schools are focused only on academic knowledge and think that the school is supposed to teach about a particular subject.
In addition
, students cannot get the essential skills when encountering to the real world
such
 as how to financially survive, how to manage time etc. For
this
 reason, I chose my career as an English teacher and I'm willing to change the faulty education system.
Therefore I
Accept comma addition
Therefore, I
 am flinging myself into my initial goal of studying abroad. And I'm in need of a mentor whom I can pick his/her brain on subjects and help me to understand every aspect of life and lead me to the right path which is the reason I chose "Tomujin Alternative School". But it costs far more than I could afford which leads me to want
this
 scholarship. I truly believe that the Tomujin Alternative School would give me a hand to get closer to my lifelong dream.
Submitted by betterhonest on

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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