Many students have to study subject that they don't like Some people think that this is a complete waste of time. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?
It is often argued that
students
should focus on their primary subject rather than extra subjects
. While
I agree that it will be best for students
' future careers, studying subjects
such
as art and music plays a significant role in students
' self-development. Therefore
, these subjects
cannot be considered a waste of time. This
essay will provide logical explanations for both sides in independent paragraphs.
One of the most obvious benefits of studying primary subjects
is that students
are able to strengthen their knowledge and develop hard skills. It ensures students
boost their knowledge in specific areas for their careers. For instance
, studying biology and chemistry is a remarkable essential for those who follow their career path in medicine, allowing them to comprehend human anatomy is crucial to detecting illnesses on time, and preventing health issues. Hence
, students
should study these subjects
meticulously for their education.
Nevertheless
, studying solely the main subject will be poor for students
' personal development. In other words
, to ensure a successful career, studying subjects
such
as art and music is known to reduce stress, allowing students
to develop essential soft skills such
as stress management, which makes students
more decisive. Furthermore
, extra subjects
can boost students
' mental power, creativity, and equal development of the brain. Thus
, students
cannot make a bright career without adding these subjects
.
In conclusion, while
main subjects
are necessary for building their careers, extra subjects
are beneficial and crucial for students
' self-development. Focusing solely on primary subjects
may limit students
' further
development.Submitted by pandatvin3 on
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task achievement
Include more specific examples to support your arguments. You mentioned the importance of subjects like biology and chemistry for medicine careers, but providing additional real-world examples could strengthen your argument.
task achievement
Ensure a clear and balanced discussion of both sides of the argument. You did a good job, but make sure each point is as thoroughly developed as possible.
coherence cohesion
Maintain consistent use of tense and keep sentences concise. Minor inaccuracies were present, but they did not greatly affect comprehension.
coherence cohesion
The essay presents a clear introduction and conclusion, offering a well-rounded discussion.
coherence cohesion
Logical structure was maintained with separate paragraphs discussing each side, contributing to clarity.
task achievement
The essay effectively underscores the importance of both primary and extra subjects, demonstrating a balanced view.