IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Today, the high sales of popular consumer goods reflect the power of advertising and not the real need of the society in which the are sold. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#sales #consumer #goods #power #society
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
It is argued by some people that the power of advertising
have
Suggestion
has
 a higher influence
in
Suggestion
on
 sales than the real needed
of
Suggestion
by
 people. I agree with
this
Linking Words
, because the neoliberal system, which exists in the majority of countries, can survive if individuals buy goods that are not essential. In my opinion, whether society
buy
Suggestion
buys
 only things of primary needed is likely that the economy would suffer a negative impact. In the world commonly is understood as a
products
Suggestion
product
 of primary
needed which
Accept comma addition
needed, which
 allow us
survive
Suggestion
to survive
,
such
Linking Words
 as the food, a few clothes or artefacts that give us
segurity
the state of being free from danger or injury
security
. Today, there are a variety of all of them, and if we buy the most economist product probably could live quite well.
However
Linking Words
, when a person
go
Suggestion
goes
 to the shopping, their
purshase
an anticipated outcome that is intended or that guides your planned actions
purpose
 is not only influenced by their needed,
rather is
Accept comma addition
rather, is
 impacted by
publicity
Suggestion
the publicity
 which give us an identity. Nowadays, the advertisement is crucial for the economy,
therefore
Linking Words
 companies invest several amount of money in publicity which makes to people believe that need one product. Actually,
staditics
a branch of applied mathematics concerned with the collection and interpretation of quantitative data and the use of probability theory to estimate population parameters
statistics
 show higher sales in goods that are not so
necessary
Accept comma addition
necessary, such
such
Linking Words
 as the
last
Linking Words
editon
the form in which a text (especially a printed book) is published
edition
 of smartphones, fast fashion or big televisions. In my opinion,
this
Linking Words
happen
Suggestion
happens
for
Suggestion
to
 the power of advertising, which have the message that if you have those things will be more accepted. In conclusion, as we live in an epoch where there are a massive
consumism
the theory that an increasing consumption of goods is economically beneficial
consumerism
 is
obviously
Suggestion
obvious
 that the higher sales will be for the work of
advertisement
Suggestion
the advertisement
 and not for the fact that a person need something. Every day people want the most popular products, which
say
express in words
tell
 us if you have it will be cool.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • consumer behavior
  • perceived need
  • lifestyle aspirations
  • brand image
  • prestige
  • psychological techniques
  • scarcity
  • social proof
  • celebrity endorsements
  • technological advancements
  • product innovations
  • emerging consumer needs
What to do next:
Look at other essays: