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Schools do not teach young people knowledge to look after their health. Do you agree with this opinion?

#schools #people #health
The education system does not provide
youth students
Accept comma addition
youth, students
 with enough information in order to protect their health.
This
 essay agrees with
this
 statement because in the most of schools there is no ability to take a nutrition related
subject
Suggestion
subjects
 and the sport and recreation is marginalised. The main problem is that students are overwhelmed with a lot of different subjects they need to study and they do not learn about important health data. Our system puts on the
first
 place subjects that are important for us in order to
enroll
register formally as a participant or member
enrol
 in better universities later and get better
jobs but
Accept comma addition
jobs, but
 they don't teach us how to eat healthy and to maintain
active lifestyle
Suggestion
an active lifestyle
active lifestyles
. Students need to spend
majority
Suggestion
the majority
a majority
 of their
time
 studying for demanding subjects and a school
curiculum
an integrated course of academic studies
curriculum
 is left without department that teaches how to take care of themselves. Recent research concluded that more than 50 of high schools have a problem with obese
atendees
a person who is present and participates in a meeting
attendees
.
Furthermore
, in
today
Suggestion
today's
todays
society there
Accept comma addition
society, there
 is surge in
number
Suggestion
the number
 of inactive minors and they have very little interest in sports. The most of their free
time
 is being spent in front of tv screens, laptops and mobile phones while the rest of
time
 they spend in their school desks. Only
time
 they have sports is only once or twice per a week and that
last
 for 45 minutes
that is
 definitely not enough. A research study done by medical professors found that every human should have at least one hour of daily activity. In conclusion, schools should put more enthusiasm to make them a place where our younger generations can learn
imporantce
Suggestion
the importance
importance
 of healthy life.
Thus
, point of interest should be divided between educational segment and entertainment part and more
time
 should be granted to physical exercise in the class schedule.

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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