The introduction of social network has had more positive effects on military ways of working and communicating than negative ones.

Social network sites have revolutionized the way of working and communicating, especially for defence force personnel. Recently, it has often been argued these platforms bring an easier access for connecting family bonds and showing the point of views.
However
, the opposite view has
also
been expressed. In
this
essay, it will be asserted the disadvantage aspects of social media for military personnel outweigh the advantages; regarding the probability of
intelligence
leaks and the spread of sensitive issues.
First
and foremost, social media sometimes is giving a boon for those military personnel who live far away from their families for their duties. In
this
situation they might posting their current situation and condition to bridge the gap between family bonds because of homesickness feelings; but it could lead to
intelligence
leaks.
For instance
, if military personnel are posting their situation during the war on a social media, the enemy would know where exactly their positions are by using the advancement of technology. The enemy may get easily to attack them as they recognise by hijacking the information which shown on social media.
Hence
, the usage of social media should be limited to those military personnel to avoid leaking of
intelligence
information.
On the other hand
, social network sites have been found useful for expressing people’s points of views, and military personnel are no exception. They could easily reveal their personal opinion since it could be done only just one single click on their phone at anytime and anywhere.
For example
, a soldier in the United States has been sacked because of arguing his government policy regarding a sensitive issue on Facebook. He was accused of disrespecting the president and conducting the nature to bring discredit upon the armed forces credibility.
Therefore
, presenting a personal opinion on social media brings a high risk for the military personnel because it represents the defence force in general. In conclusion, despite the fact that there are some advantages of social network sites on military ways of working and communicating, it is clear that social media brings about disadvantages to military personnel in terms of
intelligence
leaks and the spread of sensitive issues which lead to the thorny effects for not only military personnel themselves, but
also
the credibility of the defence force.

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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