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Band 6.5

nowadays, college students and even high students start to work at a young age. do you think it is a positive or negative development?

#college #students #work #age #development
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Running parallel with the development of society, there is a mounting trend towards working at a young age.
Although
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this
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 trend might be of great concern among parents, college students and high school students should be encouraged to embark on having part-time jobs for the chief reasons elaborated below. It is evident that working at a young age brings a host of merits. One of the significant benefits is that students stand a golden chance of understanding the value of
money
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. Because many children, especially high-income families, are hardly awarded of the importance of
money
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, they tend to waste
money
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 on unnecessary things.
Thus
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, by having part-time jobs, students experience difficulty in earning
money
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, which assists them in having more responsibility for their incomes.
For instance
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, rather than spending
money
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 on cosmetics or fashionable clothes, they may save
money
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 for future plans
such
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 as start-up or opening a shop. Another enormous advantage is that students have unrivalled opportunities to acquire social skills. Schools do not provide enough practical skills since they are being too focused on learning, academic subjects, thereby robbing valuable chances to get more real-life experience.
Hence
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, thanks to part-time employment, they can work in a new environment and experience unfamiliar situations, whereby getting more social skills
such
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 as communication skills or interpersonal skills. Notwithstanding all of its advantages, having part-time jobs has exerted some drawbacks.
First
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, since students are too busy with part-time jobs, they do not have enough time to prepare for class assignments.
This
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 gives rise to distraction to students’ academic training, which wreaks havoc on academic results.
Second
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, if they have a heavy workload, they do not have time to relax, which induces mental and physical stress, thereby substantially contributing to poor performance and diminished productivity. In conclusion,
although
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 working at a young age has both advantages and disadvantages, upsides brought up by
this
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 trend overshadow its downsides
Submitted by phanhyeudoi on

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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