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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

Overpopulation is becoming a serious issue in many parts of the world. Some people believe that governments should take strict measures to control population growth, while others think it is up to individuals to decide how many children they have. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

Overpopulation
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 has become a major concern in many countries, especially in developing regions. Some
people
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 argue that
governments
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 should introduce strict laws to
control
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 how many
children
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 families can have. Others believe that having
children
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 is a personal choice and
governments
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 should not interfere in
such
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 matters. In
this
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 essay, I will discuss both views and give my opinion. On the one hand, those who support strict government
control
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 think that
overpopulation
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 can lead to serious problems
such
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 as
lack
Correct article usage
a lack
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 of resources, unemployment, and environmental damage. If there are too many
people
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, it becomes difficult for a country to provide enough food, clean water, and healthcare. By limiting the number of
children
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 per family,
governments
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 can better manage public services and improve the quality of life for citizens.
For example
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, China's one-child policy, though controversial, helped slow down population growth for many years.
On the other hand
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, many
people
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 believe that decisions about having
children
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 should be left to individuals or families. They argue that it is a basic human right to decide how many
children
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 one wants. In some cultures and religions, having large families is important and supported by tradition.
Also
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, some worry that government policies could lead to negative outcomes,
such
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 as forced abortions or punishments, which would be unethical and harmful. In my opinion,
while
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 it is important to address
overpopulation
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,
governments
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 should not completely
control
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people
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’s personal decisions.
Instead
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, they should focus on educating citizens about the impacts of having too many
children
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 and offer support
like
Punctuation problem
, like
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 family planning services.
This
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 way,
people
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 can make informed choices without feeling forced. In conclusion,
although
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 some believe that strict government action is needed to solve
overpopulation
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, others think it should be a personal choice. I believe the best solution lies in providing education and support, rather than strict
control
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.

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coherence and cohesion
Make sure each paragraph clearly connects back to the main question. You can explain how your points support your opinion more clearly.
task achievement
Add more specific examples for each viewpoint to strengthen your argument, especially about individual decisions.
positive
Your introduction clearly outlines the topic and the two views.
positive
You provide a balanced view of both sides and present a clear opinion at the end.
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