IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Having more money and less free time is better that earning less money and more free time. Discuss both views and state your opinion.

#money #time
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This
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 is widely said that wealthy people have good quality of
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life but
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life, but
 less
time
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 to spare as compared to people with less salary who have more spare occasion. I am of the opinion that people with less capital are more contend and happier than the latter
one
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. On the
one
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 hand, it is obvious that rich people have all the resources to fulfil their lives with happiness and luxury.
Also
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, it is evident that these people are working day and night to earn the money to have a quality
life
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.
However
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, while working all day long they are left with no
time
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 to spend with their families and relatives, which eventually eradicate their personal lives.
Moreover
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, their children feel so lonely and isolated from both their parents are busy up to the neck.
Hence
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, in my opinion, having monetary benefits are important, but not as much as the personal
life
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 and health.
On the other hand
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, it is said that it is hard for people earning less
money to sustain in
Suggestion
money to sustain
 the society and spend a lavish lifestyle,
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however they
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however, they
 have a lot of
time
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 to spend with their families, think about expanding their business or career and
also
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 take a good care of their health. As it is rightly said, health is wealth,
this
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 can be true only when
one
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 has free
time
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 to spend on themselves.
Therefore
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, I am supporting
this
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 notion that people with less payment have a peaceful
life
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 with more
time
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 to spend outside working. In conclusion, people should maintain a balance
life
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 between financial stability and personal
time
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.
Also
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,
one
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 should not comprise their quality of
life
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 with the monetary benefits because spending
time
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 with loved ones gives an immense pleasure which money can never provide.

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • financial security
  • facilitating
  • lifestyle
  • professional development
  • increased stress
  • work-life balance
  • hobbies
  • quality time
  • physical and mental health
  • financial constraints
  • luxury items
  • overall well-being
  • personal growth
  • middle ground
  • sacrificing
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