IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

Having more money and less free time is better that earning less money and more free time. Discuss both views ad state your opinion.

#money #time #ad
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
It is widely said that wealthy people have good quality of
Use synonyms
life but
Accept comma addition
life, but
 less
time
Use synonyms
 to spare as compared to people with less earning who have more spare hour. I am of the opinion that people with less money are more contend and happier than the latter one. Even though it is obvious that rich people have all the resources to fulfil their lives with happiness and luxury.
Also
Linking Words
, it is evident that these people are working day and night to earn the income to have a quality of
life
Use synonyms
.
Hence
Linking Words
, while working all day long they are left with no while to spend with their families and relatives, which eventually eradicate their personal lives.
Consequently
Linking Words
, their children feel so lonely and isolated from both their parents are busy up to the neck.
Therefore
Linking Words
, in my opinion, having monetary benefits are important, but not as much as the personal
life
Use synonyms
 and health.
However
Linking Words
, it is said that it is hard for people earning less wages to sustain in the society and spend a lavish lifestyle, they have a lot of
time
Use synonyms
 to spend with their families, think about expanding their business or career and
also
Linking Words
 take a good care of their health. As it is rightly said, health is wealth,
this
Linking Words
 can be true only when one has free hour to spend on themselves.
Hence
Linking Words
, I am supporting the notion that people with less money benefits have peaceful days with more moments to spend outside working. In conclusion, people should maintain a balance
life
Use synonyms
 between financial stability and personal
time
Use synonyms
.
Moreover
Linking Words
, one should not comprise their quality of
life
Use synonyms
 with the monetary benefits because spending point in
time
Use synonyms
 with loved ones gives an immense pleasure which riches can never provide.
Submitted by chawla.gurpreet on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: