IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6

Having more money and less free time is better that earning less money and more free time. Discuss both views and state your opinion.

#money #time
It is often argued that wealthy people have less
time
 to spend with their families while people with less income have ample of
time
 to be with their loved ones. I am of the opinion that it is better to earn less and have more free hours because it benefits them to be with their families and do different activities. It is obvious that rich people have all the resources to fulfil their lives with happiness and comfort.
However
, to achieve
this
 status in their life, they work day and night which eventually result in spending less
time
 with their loved ones. As, these individuals are busy up to their necks,
as a result
, they are unable to give extra hours to their families and fitness.
Consequently
, their health starts deteriorating after a few years.
Moreover
, children of
such
 parents feel isolated and lonely,
this
 directly impacts their physical and mental health.(Extended Explanation)
Therefore
, I believe that money can’t buy you happiness and health,
hence
, people should spend quality
time
 with their families and
also
 take good account of themselves.
On the contrary
, people with less income and ample of leisure
time
 are the lucky one, as they can spend most of their hours with their near and dear ones.
This
 is because, their working hours are less,
hence
 they get lots of
time
 to look after themselves and their families.
Furthermore
, working less hours gives them satisfactory
time
 to learn new skills, make good connections and enjoy their life to the fullest.
Hence
, in my opinion, working for less hours and giving quality
time
 to fitness and families is more important which actually gives immense pleasure. In conclusion, having monetary benefits is crucial to live a luxurious lifestyle, but they can’t be compared to the contentment that spending
time
 with family brings.
Also
,
this
 helps individuals to acquit themselves well.
Therefore
, one should not run after money
instead
 look after the betterment of their loved ones and themselves.
Submitted by chawla.gurpreet on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • financial security
  • facilitating
  • lifestyle
  • professional development
  • increased stress
  • work-life balance
  • hobbies
  • quality time
  • physical and mental health
  • financial constraints
  • luxury items
  • overall well-being
  • personal growth
  • middle ground
  • sacrificing
What to do next:
Look at other essays: