Obesity around the world impacts to children. Give your solution!

Nowadays, there has been a sharp increase in the number of people who have obesity all over the world. Many children and adults are struggling to solve
this
problem
caused by several reasons.
This
essay will look at the reasons behind it and propose some solutions. One of the main causes of the
problem
is
food
consumption. In many cases,
such
as in Indonesia, lots of students tend to buy and consume a large amount of
junk
food
, whether in school, college, or even in their own home. They prefer to eat
food
cooked instantly. A solution is for teachers and family to encourage their students and family members not to buy
junk
food
, try to feed them healthy
food
as a lifestyle. Another
problem
is that many stores and companies produce
junk
food
. Most
junk
food
is becoming more and more popular today. They sell lots of unhealthy consumption to adults who usually face hard time to make beverages by themselves.
This
way forward might be to reduce and limit their existence
by
Accept comma addition
by, for
for
example increasing
Accept comma addition
example, increasing
tax on companies selling
junk
food
. To sum up, it is clear that today obesity is one of the problems that our society faces in many countries due to some reasons
such
as consuming unhealthy
food
, lifestyle, and many huge corporations selling
junk
food
.
This
is a serious
problem
, unless the government takes a step on
junk
food
spread, many pupils will not have a healthy body. My view is that the main responsibility for tackling
this
problem
lies with parents, teachers, and the government.
Submitted by miftahurrahmanqudsy on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
What to do next:
Look at other essays: