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Writing Samples
Band 6

Obesity around the world impacts to children. Give your solution!

#obesity #world #impacts #children
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Nowadays, there has been a sharp increase in the number of people who have obesity all over the world. Many children and adults are struggling to solve
this
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problem
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 caused by several reasons.
This
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 essay will look at the reasons behind it and propose some solutions. One of the main causes of the
problem
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 is
food
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 consumption. In many cases,
such
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 as in Indonesia, lots of students tend to buy and consume a large amount of
junk
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food
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, whether in school, college, or even in their own home. They prefer to eat
food
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 cooked instantly. A solution is for teachers and family to encourage their students and family members not to buy
junk
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food
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, try to feed them healthy
food
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 as a lifestyle. Another
problem
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 is that many stores and companies produce
junk
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food
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. Most
junk
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food
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 is becoming more and more popular today. They sell lots of unhealthy consumption to adults who usually face hard time to make beverages by themselves.
This
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 way forward might be to reduce and limit their existence
by
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by, for
for
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example increasing
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example, increasing
 tax on companies selling
junk
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food
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. To sum up, it is clear that today obesity is one of the problems that our society faces in many countries due to some reasons
such
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 as consuming unhealthy
food
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, lifestyle, and many huge corporations selling
junk
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food
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.
This
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 is a serious
problem
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, unless the government takes a step on
junk
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food
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 spread, many pupils will not have a healthy body. My view is that the main responsibility for tackling
this
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problem
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 lies with parents, teachers, and the government.
Submitted by miftahurrahmanqudsy on

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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