IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6.5

Some think that governments should support retired people financially while others believe they should take care of themselves. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

#think #governments #support #people #care
Old
age
 is the
age
 which compels someone to rely on others for their needs because in
this
age
 person is not able to do their work by themselves. Some persons believe that ministry should help them to survive or
on the other hand
, few think that it is their own responsibility to feed themselves.
This
 essay will discuss both the facets of
this
 proposal reaching a logical conclusion.
To begin
 with, people who think that the authority should not take
care
 of the elderly are not capable to decide the difference in working or retired people. In old
age
, they have a plethora of diseases that are preventing them to work or walk. Facilities like health
care
, pension, and subside in transport are compulsory and initial for the elderly, because they are not able to handle the extra work burden.
Secondly
, aged people are most commonly affected by atrocious diseases which put them in a dilemma where they are not financially capable to get proper treatment because of the cost,
for example
, the cancer's cure is very expensive everywhere, the government should pay them for their
care
 and treatment.
On the other hand
, some individuals are opposed to
this
 notion, they think it is not right to give them any support because they should take
care
 of their self from their saving or insurance.
Secondly
, it is the responsibility of their kids to take
care
 of their parents. Everybody who worked in the government sector could get their pension from their organization as old days funds.
For instance
, in India people taking
care
 of their parents in their own home, they are not leaving them in old
age
 home and spending from their own pockets on their treatments. In conclusion, the government should give them some facilities because of their
age
 requirement and should allocate some parts of their pension to support them by not affecting other factors.

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • retirement
  • financial support
  • social responsibility
  • comfortable and secure
  • reduces poverty
  • safety net
  • limited resources
  • fairness and equality
  • personal responsibility
  • independence
  • financial planning
  • saving
  • burden on the government
  • control over retirement
  • economic growth
  • private investment
  • combination of approaches
What to do next:
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