IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

globalization is positive for economics, but it’s negative side should not be ignored. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

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We are living in
this
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 modern world, where the entire economy is driven by the globalized
market
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. In the
last
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 century, the GDP of many countries was pretty low,
whereas
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 , with the advent of the 21st century, we see a drastic rise in the GDP of these countries, which is mainly attributed to consumerism driven by
globalization
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. Though the global
market
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 is widely positive, some folks believe it has negative effects too.
However
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, though it has some flaws, I support
globalization
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 as it is good for our economy and I have the following reasons to support my stance.
Firstly
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, an open
market
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 creates the opportunity for foreign products to be available to the local
market
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.
This
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 helps in the reduction of the consumer goods price and
thus
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 it becomes much more affordable for the citizens.
For instance
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, a country like the US imports silicon chips from Taiwan
due to
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 the competitive manufacturing cost and
hence
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, the electronic goods in the United States are economical.
Thus
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, it can boost purchasing power for the public which in turn accelerates the country's revenue.
Moreover
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,
globalization
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 boosts the job
market
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 in a country as well. When the bigger brands like Amazon, Google etc. set up their local offices in a nation like India, they employ the local citizens and
thus
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 directly back the nation's growth.
However
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, some of the pessimists feel that
this
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 open
market
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 creates a huge competitiveness for the manufacturers producing local products.
For example
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, Chinese goods tend to be cheaper compared to the nation's local brands
due to
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 their sheer economy of scale.
This
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 results in local products getting unsold affecting the livelihood of the citizens. So to summarize, the main reason for the global economic resurgence after the catastrophic world war is
due to
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globalization
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. Though it can bring some minor disadvantages to the local
market
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,
overall
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 I believe it has far more benefits.
Hence
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, the government should encourage it
further
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 and
also
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 implement necessary policies to support the local manufacturers as well.

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Task Response
Your essay provides a clear and comprehensive response to the task, with relevant examples supporting your points. To further enhance your score, consider adding more varied and complex sentence structures throughout your paragraphs, and ensure that each example is directly linked to the point you're making.
Coherence & Cohesion
Your essay demonstrates good logical structure, with a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. However, to improve coherence, you could benefit from using a wider range of linking words and phrases to better connect your ideas.
Balance & Depth
When discussing the negative aspects of globalization, consider offering more depth and specifics. This can provide a more balanced view and support your argument more effectively.
Introduction
The introduction effectively sets up the essay, outlining your stance on globalization and its impact on economies.
Use of Examples
You effectively used examples, such as the import of silicon chips from Taiwan to illustrate your points, adding credibility to your argument.
Conclusion
Your conclusion effectively summarizes your argument, reinforcing the benefits of globalization while acknowledging its minor disadvantages.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • unprecedented economic integration
  • efficient distribution
  • economic growth
  • income inequality
  • concentrated wealth
  • multinational corporations
  • environmental degradation
  • climate change
  • overexploitation
  • carbon emissions
  • cultural exchange
  • cultural homogenization
  • Western consumer culture
  • fair trade practices
  • environmental regulations
  • equitably distributed benefits
  • socially responsible
  • environmentally responsible
  • mitigate
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