More and more people today are moving away from where their friends and family live. Do the advantages of this outweigh the disadvantages?
There is a trend among people nowaday, in which they are moving to other places far from their relatives and friends. Most motivations are related to job opportunities and better quality of life. Because of that, advantages usually overcome the drawbacks and
this
point of view will be explained in this
essay.
It is true that living near people who have strong emotional connections with us, shows benefits in terms of support. On the side of our parents and friends, for instace, we feel that we are able to tackle more adversities of life and bad situations, as far as we know that they will be there to give us an advice or a simply hug. Besides
that, financial support is considered in this
panorama as well. If an emergency accurs we know that there are people standing by us.
On the other hand
, moving far from them can be considered as self-development. Many pepople choose travel far from their friends and relatives because they are aiming a wide change on their lives and, besides
that, most times the decision is work-oriented. My sister, for instance
, decided to move to the United States to work as a nurse. Her choice has based on good wage and recognition in her field. Nowadays, she faces some dificulties related to homesick and lonelyness, however
, she is able now to provide better financial conditions to her famiy or taking them to travel abroad and visiting her.
In conclusion, despite of being far from the ones that we love, living abroad or just far from them, promotes self-development in the emotional and profissional perspectives, which can, in some cases afford the distance.Submitted by carinabmurakami on
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Ensure that the essay contains a clear thesis statement outlining the main points that will be discussed. This will provide clarity on what the examiner can expect in the following paragraphs.
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Consider developing each main point with a more detailed explanation and include a wider range of specific and relevant examples to enhance the argument.
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Make sure to proofread for spelling and grammar. Errors such as 'nowaday' instead of 'nowadays', 'advice' as plural, 'tackle more adversities of life' instead of 'tackle life's adversities', 'pepople' instead of 'people', and 'dificulties related to homesick and loneliness' instead of 'difficulties related to homesickness and loneliness' should be corrected.
Coherence and Cohesion
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Coherence and Cohesion
The introduction and conclusion are present but could be improved. Use the introduction to more clearly define the scope of the essay and the conclusion to summarize the key points made and reinforce your position.
Coherence and Cohesion
Exploit cohesion devices effectively. Avoid repetitive usage of the same linking words and try to use synonyms or pronouns to refer back to previously mentioned ideas. This creates better readability and flow.
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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.