IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 3.5

Some people think that the media (newspapers) have the right to publish details of people’s private life, while others think it should be controlled. Discuss both views

#people #media #newspapers #right #people’s #life
In the recent time period, the
publishment
 of news becomes controversial issue.
Few
Suggestion
Fewer
 masses hold that the press should highlight the private lifestyle of the
masses but
Accept comma addition
masses, but
 others are opposite to
this
 view. I firmly stand by the latter viewpoint. In my piece of writing, I shall discuss both aspects with my agreement.
First
 and foremost, a sole motive of the newspaper is to aware the masses about
an
located at or attached to
on
 each and every
aspects
Suggestion
aspect
 of the
life
. So, the publisher has right to discuss the personal
life
 of the people to erase the number of the crimes in the society.
For example
, if the news channels spread the personal issues about any mental and physical
tourcher
the deliberate, systematic, or wanton infliction of physical or mental suffering by one or more persons in an attempt to force another person to yield information or to make a confession or for any other reason
torture
,
then
 the government comes across various crimes and implement the laws to decline the criminal works.
Secondly
, by showing the
hardwork
Suggestion
hard work
 experiences of the mankind the youth gets inspiration.
However
, everybody has the right to
enjoys
Suggestion
enjoy
 the private
life
 and with the interference of news editors in confidential matters
automaticaly lose
Suggestion
automatically loses
automatically lose
 the interest of the masses. To illustrate
,
Accept space
,
the media highlight every news spoil the privacy of the human beings. More importantly
,
Accept space
,
some matters need secret attention, but if these come to the media hands, and perhaps, it has adverse effects on
humans
Suggestion
human
human's
life
. I think the press should not show personal things to the human beings. I agree that the media should not disclose the private living way of the human beings among the whole world.
Submitted by sandhupoonam104 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: