Around the world, many adults are working from home, and more children are beginning to study from home because technology has become cheaper and more accessible. Do you think this is a positive or negative development?
In recent years, there has been a notable surge in the adoption of remote
work
and remote learning worldwide because of the cost-effectiveness and increased accessibility of technology. While
there are undeniable advantages to this
trend, I contend that the drawbacks outweigh the benefits, particularly in terms of social isolation and blurred boundaries between work
and home.
Children
and teenagers today choose to spend more time on their smartphones and tablets than engaging in face-to-face interactions and building meaningful relationships. The shift towards remote learning has contributed immensely to this
trend. This
isolation not only takes a toll on people's mental health but also
hampers children
's ability to develop crucial social skills essential for navigating the complexities of the world around them. For example
, many teenagers today fail to understand basic social cues as a consequence
of having little to no classes in person and having all their lectures dictated to them through a screen.
Furthermore
, the integration of work
and home life that comes with remote work
and learning blurs the boundaries between professional responsibilities and personal time. This
blurring makes it increasingly challenging for both adults and children
to maintain a healthy work
-life balance, as the distinction between work
and home becomes blurred. Moreover
, failing to establish clear boundaries can lead to feelings of dissatisfaction and depression among people, as they struggle to disengage from work
-related tasks during their personal time.
In essence, while
remote work
and learning offer undeniable advantages in terms of time-saving and cost-effectiveness, the detrimental impact on mental well-being cannot be ignored. The social isolation and difficulty in maintaining a healthy work
-life balance pose significant challenges for individuals and children
alike. As we navigate this
remote landscape, it is imperative to address these issues to ensure the holistic well-being of individuals in both professional and educational settings.Submitted by chanchaldubai1 on
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Task Achievement
Consider diversifying your examples and evidence to strengthen your argument. While the concerns about social isolation and blurring of work-life boundaries are well articulated, integrating a broader range of examples or cases could enhance the persuasiveness of your argument.
Task Achievement
Try to explore both sides of the argument in a balanced manner, especially when the prompt asks for a discussion on positive or negative developments. This will help in demonstrating a more comprehensive understanding of the topic.
Coherence and Cohesion
For coherence and cohesion, you managed to maintain a logical flow of ideas, which is commendable. However, to further improve, you could use more cohesive devices effectively to ensure smoother transitions between paragraphs and points.
Coherence and Cohesion
You provided a clear thesis statement and conclusion, effectively bookending your essay and reflecting a strong structure.
Coherence and Cohesion
Your main points are well supported and contribute to the coherence of the essay, demonstrating a clear understanding of the topic and effectively communicating your stance.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.
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