IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

Some people think that space exploration is a waste of resources, while others think that it is essential for mankind to continue to explore the universe in which we live. Discuss both sides and give your opinion.

#people #space #exploration #waste #resources #mankind #universe
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It is discussed whether the resources used for
space
exploration
 are wasted or
on the contrary
, it is crucial for humanity to continue to explore the universe. In my personal opinion, investing in
space
exploration
 is fundamental because it is really important to invest in scientific research that makes us understand more about the universe in which we live. First of all, focusing on
space
exploration
 means
to invest
Change the verb form
investing
show examples
 in scientific research. Governments should encourage and foster discoveries because they do have an impact
also
 on our everyday life. Indeed,
space
exploration
 is not only about searching for life outside our galaxy or studying the origin of the universe, but it is related
also
 to satellites which improve our communication and make it possible to use apps
such
 as Google Maps, which are used by everyone on their daily life.
However
, not everybody has the same opinion about that because they point out that these funds should be used for services to which the citizens directly benefit.
Furthermore
, some people address how
space
exploration
 causes pollution and can damage the environment.
However
, even if rocket pollution is a problem, a possible solution remains to invest more in
this
 field to discover different technologies less polluting.
For example
, the
Space
 X company is trying to become always more environmentally friendly in their rocket technology and
this
 is possible only thanks to the funds they can have access to.
To conclude
, I firmly believe that the benefits that we as mankind have from
space
exploration
 imply that we should continue to invest resources in that.
Submitted by lucrezialivi on

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task achievement
Your essay provides a solid foundation and responds well to the task. However, try to add a few more specific examples to support your points further.
coherence cohesion
Be mindful of ensuring each paragraph consistently sticks to a single main point, which will make your arguments clearer and more persuasive.
coherence cohesion
Vary your sentence structure more to improve fluency. Currently, some sentences are a little repetitive.
coherence cohesion
Your introduction and conclusion are well-presented and provide a good framework for your essay.
task achievement
You have clearly addressed both sides of the issue as required by the task.
task achievement
Your points are generally clear and well-argued, demonstrating your ability to articulate your opinion on the topic.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • astronomical costs
  • earthbound issues
  • tangible benefits
  • technological spin-offs
  • innovation
  • long-term investment
  • habitability
  • interplanetary travel
  • sustainable exploration
  • spacefaring nations
  • international collaboration
  • deep space
  • the final frontier
  • cosmic perspective
  • frontiers of science
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