IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6.5

Having more money and less free time is better than earning less money and having more free time. Discuss both views and state your opinion.

#money #time
Nowadays, money is the best thing to have a good position in society and live happily. From the advent of salary to the present day, being rich has always had advantages, since you can buy everything you want, live in a good atmosphere and have a main position in the community.
Therefore
 the majority of individuals think that having abundant money and less free
time
 is the best way to spend
life
Suggestion
a life
.
However
, I personally believe that earning enough capital and investing more
time
 for
life
 is another way of living the leisure
life
. Having enough cash and more free
time
 for yourself is a great way to spend a short
life
.Fewer things make our growth more comfortable. More day to relax and discover new talents. Make a strong relationship with partner or family.
Also
, you have
time
 to take care of your health. Think about the
time
 and effort you spend on taking care of your material possessions and earning cash to buy them.
As a result
, enough fund is sufficient to live happily. Despite
this
, some might argue that living in a five star hotel or well-maintained makes people happy. To some extent, I would agree that everybody, even once wanted to be a millionaire, spend rest his
life
 luxuriously. Even so, I strongly highlight, that having much wage makes our
life
 complicated. The soul will be more stressful, for fear of losing wages and not feeling self-safety.
Furthermore
, there will be less hour for family and friends, which is sometimes critical to handle when it comes to the personal relations or family level.Looking at wealthy families, one can notice that many of them often, get divorced, or their children will become cold towards their parents. According to the research of the magazine "Physiology and health" almost 20% of rich people do not keep in touch with their relatives. So, it is clear that wealth cannot buy happiness. To summarize, salary plays a significant role in our world, but there is a huge difference between spending
life
 happily and living rich.
Submitted by samaraakylbekova34 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
Topic Vocabulary:
  • financial security
  • facilitating
  • lifestyle
  • professional development
  • increased stress
  • work-life balance
  • hobbies
  • quality time
  • physical and mental health
  • financial constraints
  • luxury items
  • overall well-being
  • personal growth
  • middle ground
  • sacrificing
What to do next:
Look at other essays: