In many countries, paying for things using mobile phone (cellphone) apps is becoming increasingly common. Does this development have more advantages or more disadvantages? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

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Nowadays, paying for goods and services using mobile phone
applications
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is becoming increasingly popular in many countries.
While
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this
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development has some
disadvantages
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related to security and technical issues, I believe that the advantages outweigh the
disadvantages
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because mobile
payments
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are convenient and time-saving. On the one hand, one major advantage of mobile
payment
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applications
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is convenience.
This
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is because they allow people to make quick, cashless
payments
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from anywhere at any time.
For example
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,
while
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traveling many individuals prefer to pay for services using digital
payment
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methods to avoid the inconvenience of currency exchange, and they can
also
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track their expenses in the mobile banking
applications
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.
As a result
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, the mobile
payment
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system makes transactions faster, easier, and more efficient in daily life.
On the other hand
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, some major
disadvantages
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of contactless
payment
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methods include security and technical issues.
This
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means that users may become victims of online fraud or data theft if their personal information is hacked.
In addition
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, people may face
payment
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difficulties during internet failures or technical problems.
For instance
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, recent studies indicate that cybercrime related to digital
payments
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has increased significantly, as many individuals have PayPal, Google Pay, and many other
payment
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applications
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installed in their mobile phones, which they use for making
payments
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. Cybercriminals often only require an OTP(One-Time-Password) to access victims' bank details.
Therefore
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, despite being convenient, digital
payment
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systems can sometimes create serious risks for users. In conclusion,
although
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contactless
payment
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may create some security and technical concerns, I believe that its advantages outweigh
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disadvantages
Correct article usage
the disadvantages
show examples
because they provide convenience and save time in daily life.

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coherence cohesion
Make your main idea stronger in each body part. Say the point first, then explain it, then give one clear example.
coherence cohesion
Use linking words with more care. Some are good, but a few ideas feel a bit long and heavy.
task achievement
Give one more direct reason why the good points are stronger than the bad points.
task achievement
Your examples are relevant, but they can be more specific and simple.
coherence cohesion
Your essay has a clear introduction, two body parts, and a conclusion.
task achievement
You answer both sides and give your opinion clearly.
coherence cohesion
Most ideas stay on the topic and are easy to follow.
task achievement
You use examples about travel, apps, and online crime, which fit the topic.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • convenience
  • safety
  • security
  • time-saving
  • cashless transactions
  • dependence on technology
  • privacy concerns
  • accessibility issues
  • financial vulnerability
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