IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

Some people believe that unpaid community service should be compulsory part of high school programs (for example working on charity, teaching sport to younger people) To what extend do you agree or disagree?

#people #community #service #part #school #programs #charity #sport
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I believe that incorporating unpaid
community
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service
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 as a compulsory part of high school programs is beneficial and should be widely adopted. Integrating
community
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service
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 into the curriculum offers numerous advantages that extend beyond academic learning. First and foremost, unpaid
community
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service
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 fosters a sense of civic responsibility among
students
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. By participating in activities
such
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 as working with charities or teaching sports to younger children,
students
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 gain firsthand experience in giving back to their communities.
This
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instills
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instils
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 a sense of empathy and social awareness, crucial traits for developing well-rounded individuals who understand the value of contributing to society.
Moreover
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, compulsory
community
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service
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 helps
students
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 develop practical skills that are not typically covered in traditional academic settings. Skills
such
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 as teamwork, leadership, and effective communication are often honed through these activities.
For instance
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, organizing a charity event requires coordination, planning, and leadership, all of which are valuable skills in both personal and professional contexts.
Additionally
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, engaging in
community
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service
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 can enhance
students
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’ college and job applications. Many institutions and employers view
community
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 involvement as a positive attribute, demonstrating that the candidate is proactive and socially conscious.
This
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 can provide
students
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 with a competitive edge in the increasingly demanding academic and job markets.
However
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, it is essential to implement
such
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 programs thoughtfully to ensure they do not become a mere checkbox exercise. Schools should provide meaningful opportunities that align with
students
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' interests and abilities, fostering genuine engagement rather than obligatory participation. In conclusion, making unpaid
community
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service
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 a compulsory part of high school programs is a commendable initiative. It nurtures civic-minded, skilled, and socially responsible individuals, ultimately benefiting both the
students
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 and the broader
community
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.
Submitted by maneetgiri1 on

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Ensure that your arguments are fully developed with specific details and varied examples to make them more compelling.
coherence cohesion
Try to incorporate some counterarguments and address them to demonstrate a balanced and thorough understanding of the topic.
coherence cohesion
The essay has a clear and well-defined structure, making it easy to follow and understand.
coherence cohesion
The introduction and conclusion are present, effectively framing the main points of the essay.
coherence cohesion
Main points are well-supported with logical arguments and relevant examples, enhancing the overall strength of the essay.
task achievement
Addresses the prompt completely and provides a thorough, comprehensive response.
task achievement
Ideas are communicated clearly, showcasing a strong command of the English language.

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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