In some countries, owning a home rather than renting one is very important for people. Why might this be the case? Do you think this is a positive or negative situation?
Prejudices and stereotyping have always been major factors that influence loads of individuals’ lifestyles. One of the instances which may portray how affected it could be towards people is the fact that some consider taking possession of their own home,
instead
of renting a place of residence, to be far more crucial. Personally speaking, I am more neutral when believing it could be simultaneously positive and negative, and the following explanation will detail how I think about the issue.
On the one hand, as I have mentioned above, society’s opinions on individuals’ lives create such
an impact that modifies how personnel will solve and think of many aspects around them. The intense extents of fear and insecurity by the likeliness of being bad-talked behind and judged, especially in terms of achievements, propelling many to comply with the idea of owning a house or apartment to stay in, and usually, in some strict and close-minded circumstances, paying monthly for an accommodation is regarded to be unstable.
On the other hand
, almost everything in existence has two sides of a coin, therefore
, this
case is also
no exception. The aforementioned ideal criteria of societies could possibly act as a concrete push or a specific goal for many to chase after and fulfil, and as a result
, generating more devoted and hard-working-minded later generations, giving the national economy a rise in developing and expanding in many fields. However
, with too many expectations from close ones like relatives, friends, lovers,… It is, sometimes and in fact, more of a heavy strain on subjects’ shoulders and gives people a reason to be unmotivated. In a few cases, it could lead to even more extreme consequences, namely mental issues or illnesses, deliberate demises,… Thus
, it ought to be, scientifically, careful whenever it comes to encountering others’ viewpoints and methods of balancing your own ideas and theirs.
To conclude
this
essay, there are probably things that have benefits, yet, we should still take a pause and rethink since in some situations, exceeding can still be undesirably harmful like in the case of the idealization of possessing a home permanently and not really appreciating home-renting, all stem from the unhealthily, maybe at some points, stereotyped way of thinking by the societies.Submitted by jakelong16091994 on
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Task Response
Ensure ideas are expressed clearly and simply. Sometimes complex sentences make the argument harder to follow.
Task Response
Try to provide more specific examples to enhance your arguments.
Coherence and Cohesion
Ensure each paragraph flows naturally into the next with effective use of linking phrases.
Structure
The essay has a strong introduction and conclusion, clearly outlining the purpose and summarizing the main points.
Coherence
The main ideas are logically structured with cause and effect reasoning regarding societal pressures and individual choices.
Task Achievement
You have presented a balanced perspective, acknowledging both positive and negative aspects of the topic.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.