Some people think that music plays an inportant role in seciety. Others think it is simply a form of entertainment. Discuss both views and gives your opinion

It has been often believed that
music
has an undeniable role in
socienty
an extended social group having a distinctive cultural and economic organization
society
while, many people consider it as an
amusment
a feeling of delight at being entertained
amusement
. From my
perspecrive
a way of regarding situations or topics etc.
perspective
,
music
has
an
Suggestion
a
significant role due to
history
and culture. On the one hand
,
Accept space
,
by looking throughout
history
, it can be seen that
music
has beeb played
Suggestion
has been playing
has been played
an important role and has been always existed all around the world. Since the instruments are various depend on
region
Suggestion
the region
and
diffrent
unlike in nature or quality or form or degree
different
kind of material to make
music
, it could
provid
give something useful or necessary to
provide
many crucial details on
culture
Suggestion
the culture
and
history
of former nations.
For example
, folk
music
is existed in every
countries
Suggestion
country
with
diffrent
unlike in nature or quality or form or degree
different
melodies and
rythemd
.
Moreover
, it
is represented
Suggestion
represents
a story inside.
This
is because of, historical events and cultures amazingly effected
on
Suggestion
in
by
the way people putting their emotions
in to
expresses motion to a point on, or within, something
into
their
music
.
As a result
, it has become most initial part of a country to be
comprehenced
fully understood or grasped
comprehended
comprehend
better.
On the other hand
, some people argue that
music
has no
dept
the extent downward or backward or inward
depth
depot
debt
and it serves people to just have fun. It is true to say that Nowadays, the way of producing
music
is slightly the same in many countries as most of them following the global trends.
Additionally
,
Accept space
,
concerts and
mucical
characterized by or capable of producing music
musical
shows give people a great
numbers
Suggestion
number
of
options
Accept comma addition
options, however
however
, cultural taking they are
exterimly
to a high degree or extent; favorably or with much respect
extremely
week
wanting in physical strength
weak
.
For instance
, many people going out to bars and get relaxed and
also
entertained in their
leasire
time available for ease and relaxation
leisure
time and usually
thease
plural of "this"
these
those
this
bars
offers
Suggestion
offer
live
music
which plays trendy songs not cultural
music
. To sum up
,
Accept space
,
in recent years
music
has
being
have the quality of being; (copula, used with an adjective or a predicate noun)
been
mainly related
with
Suggestion
to
entertainment due to global trends
,
Accept space
,
however
, I believe it is tremendously important for nations as it will allow us to
undrestand
know and comprehend the nature or meaning of
understand
former nations'
history
and culture.
Submitted by misspoppy92 on

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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