Nowadays technology is increasingly being used to monitor what people are saying and doing (for example, through cellphone tracking and security cameras). In many cases, the people being monitored are unaware that this is happening. Do you think the advantages of this development outweigh the disadvantages?
It is argued that modern technology aims to monitor what people are saying and doing.
This
essay claims that the main advantage is the national Linking Words
security
Use synonyms
this
monitoring can provide and the disadvantage is about privacy concerns and the limitation of the freedom of expression.
It is conspicuous that the fact of implementing cameras and controlling citizens is beneficial for our national Linking Words
security
. Indeed, for many years, many countries have been threatened by terrorists. Terrorism is likely to destroy our community Use synonyms
as well as
our civilization.For that reason, fighting against Linking Words
this
phenomenon remains consequential.In Linking Words
this
regard, any kind of help aiming to battle those criminals should be welcomed. Linking Words
For instance
, thanks to smartphones and cameras, many terrorists were arrested before they could hurt anyone in Morocco, in 2015,when the country was threatened by a terrorist group.
Linking Words
However
, Linking Words
this
overuse of cellphone tracking and Linking Words
security
cameras Use synonyms
also
features noticeable inconveniences Linking Words
such
as privacy issues.Linking Words
This
is because our data isn't completely safe on the internet and many scammers have access to our private pieces of information.Those lawbreakers are renowned for their ability to use personal pics and videos to blackmail innocent victims and Linking Words
therefore
, get money from them.Linking Words
Furthermore
, in numerous dictatorial countries, smartphones are used to target opponents and send them to jail.Linking Words
Hence
, it is considered as a real limitation of the individual freedom. A prime example would be The North Korean government which uses smartphones to control its own citizens.
In conclusion, ensuring national Linking Words
security
is the prime benefit of Use synonyms
this
modern breakthrough Linking Words
although
many advantages exist Linking Words
such
as unlawful access to private pieces of information and overwhelming restrictions on freedom in lots of nations.Linking Words
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Task Response
While the essay provides a thorough response to the question, consider expanding on other potential advantages of monitoring technology, such as crime reduction or data analytics for improving city services.
Coherence
Develop a stronger link between paragraphs by referring back to how each disadvantage connects to or contrasts with highlighted advantages, enhancing overall coherence.
Cohesion
Aim for more varied sentence structures and transitions to improve the flow between ideas and paragraphs for better cohesion.
Task Response
The essay effectively covers both sides of the argument, clearly weighing advantages against disadvantages.
Coherence
The introduction sets a clear premise, and the conclusion logically summarizes and links back to the arguments presented.
Task Achievement
Specific examples, such as the case in Morocco and North Korea, strengthen the argument by making it more tangible and grounded in reality.
Your opinion
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