Some people think that music plays an important role in society. Others think it is simply a form of entertainment. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

#people #music #role #society #form #entertainment

People have various positions regarding whether

music

has a beneficial effect on the community or it is a source of leisure activity. While joyful moments can sometimes be created by

music

, I generally believe that

music

can play a crucial rule in the community. There are two reasons why some people are of the opinion that

music

contributes to merits to society.

Firstly

, since the cognitive and intellectual skills of children can encouraged by

music

because it can act as a motivator for exercise their brain, children can learn academic subjects better than the past.

For instance

, their tremendous achievements in their lessons can assist them to have a successful career prospect and ultimately can lead to prosperity in the community.

Secondly

, despite medical treatment for psychological disorders, many people suffering from affective disorders can be healed by

music

, so a huge emotional burden can be eliminated from their family to maintain them. Take their family members take leave from their work to preserve them as an example;

Music

can release the mental disease from

this

situation and

also

their family members can devote a more significant portion of time to their vocational life. In my opinion,

music

can amplify the life quality of

people which

Accept comma addition

people, which

can lead to success in society. On the flip side, other purport that

music

just can be intended to fill the spare time with joyful moments. It is crystal clear that some slogans have been propagated by

music

can raise cruelty and brutality between people specifically adolescents. If the mottos were advertised by these kind of

music

prevail

between

Suggestion

among

people as a worthwhile life lesson, the detrimental effects would be spread in communities, so it is a brilliant idea that considers

music

just as a diversion. A salient example is prevalence of not only aggressive behaviours between

juvenile but

Accept comma addition

juvenile, but

also

increasing the rate of suicidal tendencies between the housekeeper women.

Hence

, people must fill their spare time

Suggestion

with

music

just as a source of harmless activity. In conclusion, it is true that both these perspectives are common through people,

however

, it seems to me that

music

can accompany marvellous accomplishment in societies.

Submitted by idehpardazanprogramming on Thu May 14 2020

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

Summary
Restatement of thesis
Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

In conclusion
To conclude
To summarize
Finally
In a nutshell
In general

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7Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
4Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

358 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.5

Complete response

7.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Some people think that music plays an important role in society. Others think it is simply a form of entertainment. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Include an introduction and conclusion

Innovation is often driven by the pursuit of profit and economic growth . However , some argue that it should prioritize addressing social and environmental issues . Discuss both sides and give your own opinion

Nowadays many people have Access to computers on a wide basis and large number of children play computer games. What are the negative impacts of playing computer games and what can be done minimize bad effects?

he tendency of news reporters in the media to focus more on problems and emergencies than on positive developments is harmful to the individuals and the society as a whole. To what extend do you agree or disagree?

More and more people and organizations are using digital technology for contact with other people. What are the advantages and disadvantages of using digital technology for communication?