Some people think that music plays an important role in society. Others think it is simply a form of entertainment. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

People have various positions regarding whether
music
has a beneficial effect on the community or it is a source of leisure activity. While joyful moments can sometimes be created by
music
, I generally believe that
music
can play a crucial rule in the community. There are two reasons why some people are of the opinion that
music
contributes to merits to society.
Firstly
, since the cognitive and intellectual skills of children can encouraged by
music
because it can act as a motivator for exercise their brain, children can learn academic subjects better than the past.
For instance
, their tremendous achievements in their lessons can assist them to have a successful career prospect and ultimately can lead to prosperity in the community.
Secondly
, despite medical treatment for psychological disorders, many people suffering from affective disorders can be healed by
music
, so a huge emotional burden can be eliminated from their family to maintain them. Take their family members take leave from their work to preserve them as an example;
Music
can release the mental disease from
this
situation and
also
their family members can devote a more significant portion of time to their vocational life. In my opinion,
music
can amplify the life quality of
people which
Accept comma addition
people, which
can lead to success in society. On the flip side, other purport that
music
just can be intended to fill the spare time with joyful moments. It is crystal clear that some slogans have been propagated by
music
can raise cruelty and brutality between people specifically adolescents. If the mottos were advertised by these kind of
music
prevail
between
Suggestion
among
people as a worthwhile life lesson, the detrimental effects would be spread in communities, so it is a brilliant idea that considers
music
just as a diversion. A salient example is prevalence of not only aggressive behaviours between
juvenile but
Accept comma addition
juvenile, but
also
increasing the rate of suicidal tendencies between the housekeeper women.
Hence
, people must fill their spare time
by
Suggestion
with
music
just as a source of harmless activity. In conclusion, it is true that both these perspectives are common through people,
however
, it seems to me that
music
can accompany marvellous accomplishment in societies.
Submitted by idehpardazanprogramming on

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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