IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6.5

The Government’s investment in arts, music and theatre is a waste of money. Governments should invest these funds in public service instead. To what extend do you agree with this statement?

#government’s #investment #arts #music #theatre #waste #money #governments #funds #service
Many people believe that the government funds can be utilized for the public service, rather than developing theatres to promote art and music.
Although
 I agree that it is important to invest in public services, but funding in the cultural sector is
also
 crucial for the society.
Firstly
, public services touches on many aspects of everyday life,
such
 as health, education, social care, urban planning which plays a crucial role in ensuring people’s contentment. Government should spend the large some amount of funds in developing the newer technologies in health sector leading to better outcomes that can enhance the quality of life. The authorities can educate the general public and implement many awareness programs across the countries to eradicate the diseases.
Secondly
, the investment in arts, music and theatre are
also
 not a waste of money. They are an excellent source of wisdom and offers emotional experiences. Numerous studies have shown that cultural and creativity helps to enhance physical and mental health. They give us the opportunity to showcase our knowledge and talent. The country like India has one of the world’s largest collection of songs, music, theatre, performing arts, paintings and writings that are known as the ‘Intangible Culture Heritage’ of humanity. To conclude, I believe the government officials should balance their funds for both so public service can enhance the quality of life and at the same time cultural heritage can be preserved.
Submitted by savladeepika8 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • cultural heritage
  • cultural diversity
  • economic growth
  • creative industries
  • public service
  • community cohesion
  • opportunity cost
  • essential services
  • government spending
  • private sector
  • patronage
  • subsidize
  • invest
  • allocate
  • infrastructure
What to do next:
Look at other essays: