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Writing Samples
Band 7

Recent sureys show increased interest in relocation and travel to other countries. What may be the reason for this trend and will be the possible outcome from this behavior provide example for your opinion

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It is believed that
people
Use synonyms
 are keen on moving to a new place and going to various nations nowadays. From the writer's perspective, it is the desire to have a better life that results in
this
Linking Words
 action and can lead to the economy going downward. It must be acknowledged that
people
Use synonyms
 migrate to achieve a quality life.
In other words
Linking Words
, the areas they live in might not have sufficient opportunities for them to thrive, which lowers the chance of them having a good income and that makes them feel like they are left behind.
Furthermore
Linking Words
,
people
Use synonyms
 from remote areas, especially rural towns, are more likely to travel to cities in the hope of finding a well-paid job in order to improve their
overall
Linking Words
 well-being.
For example
Linking Words
, in Vietnam, most young
people
Use synonyms
 in distant areas either go to cities or other countries to have higher education and a bright future.
However
Linking Words
, putting the benefits aside, there are
also
Linking Words
 drawbacks to
this
Linking Words
 trend, particularly the economy going into freefall.
This
Linking Words
 is because talented
people
Use synonyms
 who have the potential to develop the
country
Use synonyms
 are leaving the
country
Use synonyms
 in search of success, making the
country
Use synonyms
 struggle without the crucial part of economic growth, the
people
Use synonyms
.
Moreover
Linking Words
, other countries that receive immigrants can now take advantage of it and grow stronger,
while
Linking Words
 the countries that lose these
people
Use synonyms
 tend to go down.
Therefore
Linking Words
,
it is clear that
Linking Words
 a
country
Use synonyms
 should try their best to keep their
people
Use synonyms
 to themselves rather than let them travel to other places. In conclusion, immigration to other regions stems from desperation for a new life, leading to the bleeding of the economy.
Thus
Linking Words
, both
people
Use synonyms
 and the government should work together to succeed.

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task achievement
Ensure that your main points are thoroughly developed and supported by relevant examples. This will make your argument more convincing.
coherence cohesion
Although the essay flows well, using varied linking words and phrases can make the transitions even smoother and more varied.
introduction conclusion present
The introduction clearly presents the topic and the writer's perspective, which sets the stage well for the rest of the essay.
introduction conclusion present
The conclusion effectively summarizes the main points and restates the writer's position, bringing a sense of closure to the essay.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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