In your own opinion, what do you think are the factors that contribute to longevity?

There are a lot of reasons that people can live longer than before,

such

as the development of medication and a good diet. I will explain about that the factors related to

life

expectancy and the reasons.

To begin

with, I think that the most effective factor is the development of medical treatment. For a long time, we had a lot of incurable diseases, so we couldn't treat any diseases like flu, pest and so on. We didn't have any vaccines and treatment in order to cure the diseases.

However

, these days there are many vaccines, injections, chemotherapy and pills which can cure and doctors and scientists have

also

researched and developed the surgical methods. It has led to our

life

expectancy.

Secondly

, I believe that having a good diet has affected to be healthy. We focus on our lives healthy and happy nowadays.

Therefore most

Accept comma addition

Therefore, most

people pursue to improve the quality of their health.

For example

, we not only tend to have a meal with thinking of calories and nutritions, but we

also

try to exercise regularly. These habits help us to live longer and healthier. To sum up, the development of medicine has helped to cure many diseases. We have more many curable diseases than incurable ones.

Moreover

, our activity style is to be healthy with a good eating habit.

As a result

although

there are various factors linked to longevity, I have asserted that the most powerful reasons are medical treatments and improving a

life style

a manner of living that reflects the person's values and attitudes

lifestyle

which we intend to have a good diet and keep healthy. I think that we have more opportunities to live a varied

life

Therefore we

Accept comma addition

Therefore, we

should take care of ourselves and try to develop it.

Submitted by leslie8484 on Sun May 17 2020

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Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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10Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

284 words

6.50

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 8.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

longevity
factor
contribute
healthy lifestyle choices
genetics
access to quality healthcare
social connections
support
education
economic stability
environmental factors
stress management
regular exercise
diet
nutrition

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In your own opinion, what do you think are the factors that contribute to longevity?

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

In many Western countries there is an increasing number of couples choosing to have no children for study what are the advantages and disadvantages to couples having no children?

some children spend hours every day on their smartphones. Why is this the case? Do you think this is positive or a negative development?

Some people think that a person improves their intellectual skills more when doing group activities. To what extent do you agree? Use specific details and examples to explain your view.

Learning out the past has no value for those of us living in the present. To what extent do you agree or disagree?