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Band 7

People living in the 21st century have a better life quality than people who lived in previous times. to what extent do you agree or disagree?

#people #st #century #life #quality #times
In modern society,
people
 have a better life than in previous times. Some communities disagree with
this
 statement, but I agree
people
 who live in the twenty-first century have a
lot
 of advantages
such
 as having a better education, the healthcare system is more mature, and there is a
lot
 of advanced
technology
. In
this
 essay, I will discuss how
people
 who live in present-day society are better than in previous times. In the current era, most
people
 have a higher education compared to previous years, which was difficult to get. Nowadays,
people
 can easily get a
lot
 of information from different sources, not only from books. Not only that, everyone can learn anything from anywhere using their computer.
People
 who live in the 21st century have experienced a
lot
 of benefits of
technology
such
 as the fastness of the spread of information and ease of communication with others. In the present day, everyone can easily get information from mobile phones and
also
 can send each other messages, even though they live in different countries.
Furthermore
, with
technology
people
 will be more effective and efficient with their activities,
for instance
, nowadays
people
 can buy everything online which was not available back
then
. Not only that,
technology
 in the healthcare system has developed a
lot
 and a bunch of diseases were found by using
technology
. In conclusion, there are a
lot
 of advantages to living in the state of the art, because the
technology
 that we use today, has improved a
lot
 of areas of our lives.
Submitted by inekemargareta20 on

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task achievement
You have effectively addressed the question and provided reasons to support your viewpoint. However, you could enhance the essay by providing more specific examples and elaborating on each point. This would strengthen the clarity and comprehensiveness of your ideas.
coherence cohesion
To improve coherence and cohesion, consider using more transitional phrases and connectors to make the essay flow more smoothly between points. This will aid in creating a more logically structured essay.
coherence cohesion
Your essay includes a clear introduction and conclusion, which help frame your argument and provide a sense of completeness.
coherence cohesion
You have presented a logical structure by dividing the essay into distinct sections that discuss education, technology, and the healthcare system.
task achievement
The main points are supported and relevant to the topic, making them easy to follow and understand.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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