IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

It is believed that governments spend unnecessary money on art and that this money can be used more efficiently.

#governments #money #art
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It is believed that governments spend unnecessary
money
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 on
art
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 and that
this
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money
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 can be used more efficiently. I totally disagree with
this
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 and I think that art
s ar
Suggestion
the arts
e worth to spend
money
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 on them.
Art
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 is a very big concept and varies from
country
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 to
country
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, so it is very important that each
country
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 has its own
art
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 style.
Money
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 is something that needs to be spent on
art
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 because it must always develop, and it must
also
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 represent the
country
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 in the best way. In some cou
ntries there ar
Accept comma addition
countries, there
e museums everywhere.
For instance
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, Germany, Turkey, and the UK. In these countries, museums are free and always open. So everyone can access and curiosity increases.
Art
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 is
also
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 considered a form of entertainment. As an example, festivals, movies and competitions are made by taking examples fro
m
Suggestion
of
art
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. If it is developed in the
art
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 branch of the
country
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, it can be transformed into a deposit.
For example
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, movies are something that requires high inv
estment but ul
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investment, but
timately makes good
money
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. According to the researches, it has been proved that in a
country
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 where
art
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 is developed, it can obtain a high amount of
money
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 in these branches.
As a result
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, art
s ha
Suggestion
the arts
ve a great importance in the lives of people in that
country
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. If there is no
art
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, that
country
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 has not developed sufficiently.
In other words
Linking Words
, if a state does not spend the necessary
money
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 on
art
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, it lags behind compared to other countries and cannot show its own culture enough.
Submitted by sagnaday on

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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