IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

Many governments are investing less in roads and more in public transport systems. Do the advantage outweigh the disadvantage?

#governments #roads #transport #systems #advantage
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It is irrefutable that the investment of government
fund
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 has been a debatable issue for many years. Some believe being less interested in improving road
transportation
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, the higher authority is more inclined to invest the
fund
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 in the public transport
system
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. In my opinion, funding in public
transportation
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 is more beneficial and its advantages far outweigh the disadvantages because not only does it reduce
air
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pollution
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, but
also
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 decrease the number of
car
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 accidents. Admittedly, one of the main disadvantages of investing less
fu
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nd o
Suggestion
funds
n the improvement of roads is that it will slow down the economy. Like many industries in the cities depend on their suppliers to supply the basic raw material, as these suppliers are operated in another part of the city.
For instance
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, if there is no construction of national highways or improvement on the existing roads, there will be a lot of delay in receiving the key ingredients to many manufacturing companies.
As a result
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, the finished goods or essential goods will not reach to the consumers on time, and the whole economic
system
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 will get disturbed. In spite of the aforementioned disadvantage, investing
fu
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nd i
Suggestion
funds
n public
transportation
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 has many benefits.
Firstly
Linking Words
, it assists in reducing
air
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po
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llution which i
Accept comma addition
pollution, which
s the threat to humans in the 21st century. To elucidate, undeniably,
air
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pollution
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 is accelerating at a fast pace, and
this
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 leads to a rise in the earth’s temperature, which causes global warming.
Hence
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, the more improvement in public
transportation
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,
such
Linking Words
 as buses, trains, trams, the less
pollution
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 on the earth.
For example
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, a recent article by the Times of India on April 2019 reported that the Japanese Government, invested 5% more
fund
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 in public
transportation
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last
Linking Words
 year by encouraging people to use them in order to curb
air
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pollution
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;
this
Linking Words
 has resulted in the reduction of earth’s temperature and Japanese tends to have long life expected.
Secondly
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, a decrease in the percentage of
car
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 accidents is another positive to improve on the public transport
system
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. Owning
ca
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r i
Suggestion
a car
s not the luxury, but the necessity these days, meaning that every family would like to have own
car
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 so as to resume office on time and avoid traffic on roads.
Hence
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 the number of cars on roads dramatically increases, which causes an accident. In conclusion,
although
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 there are some downwards of investing in the road transport
system
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such
Linking Words
 as the economy gets slow down, I think that a reduction in
air
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pollution
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, as well as
car
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 accidents, is more imperative benefits.
Submitted by jdsmss on

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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