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Band 6.5

Some people believe that is good to share as much information as possible in scientific research, business and the academic world. Others believe that some information is too important or too valuable to be shared freely

#people #information #research #business #world
There are strikingly opposing views about sharing the data on all topics. Nobody can deny that it is good to
share
 as much
information
 as possible in scientific research, business, and the academic world
while
others
 believe that some
information
 is too important and too valuable to be shared freely. I personally hold the view that it is not fair for researchers to
share
 all of their efforts with people for free. On the one hand, the shared
information
 will be of great help to businesses, lecturers and especially students.
For self-educated
Change preposition
Self-educated
show examples
 or some employees in companies,
they
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
will basically need data and
information
 from different documents for their studies or projects. To paraphrase, whether they are wealthy or not, people need to broaden their perspectives, stay educated, and acquire more knowledge. In
this
 regard, governments provide individuals with free
information
 about COVID-19 and how to safeguard their health.
On the other hand
, if we
share
 important
information
 freely, it is easy for
others
 to steal our copyright and sell the
information
 for profit from
others
. Providing an excessive amount of important
information
 without limits or permission could have the negative effect of preventing producers from reaping the financial rewards of their research or development.
For instance
, many apps have chosen to create pro editions, for which users must pay to access the more advanced features.
For instance
, many apps have chosen to create pro editions, for which users must pay to access the more advanced features. If important
information
 related to law or privacy is leaked, it could ability endanger an individual or organization. It is best that crucial pieces of academic insights are considered to be top secrets. In short, there are always exceptions but I still strongly believe that if we
share
 useful
information
, it brings benefit to
others
.
In addition
, protecting important
information
 is
also
 necessary.
Submitted by jakelong16091994 on

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task response
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coherence and cohesion
Refine the logical flow between ideas to enhance coherence, and consider varying linking words and phrases.
task response
Introduce more specific examples to bolster arguments and avoid repetition of concepts or ideas.

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • information sharing
  • scientific research
  • business
  • academic world
  • advancement of knowledge
  • progress
  • collaboration
  • cross-disciplinary research
  • open access
  • democratization of information
  • transparency
  • credibility
  • intellectual property
  • security concerns
  • commercial interests
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