IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 7

In many part of the world, it is common for one parent to stay and home and raise a newborn child while the other works full-time to earn money. Do the advantages outweigh the disadvantages?

#part #world #parent #home #child #works #money
No doubt staying at the home of anyone parent has been a controversial issue. Some argue that it is beneficial to stay at home and raise a
child
 under the shed of a parent, and in my view, its advantages far outweigh the disadvantage because not only does
child
 could grow properly, but
also
 the
work-life
balance
 could be maintained. Admittedly, there are some drawbacks of dual working couples, one of them is a
child
 could not up bring good. To elucidate, due to the exorbitant cost of living, particularly, in the metropolitan cities, the majority of spouses have to work full-time to maintain a good standard of living. Undeniably, the newborn baby needs more pamper and nourish from the parents to nurture well. If both are not there, the
child
 will not grow well.
As a result
, a
child
 might face mental stress and become introvert when get older. Despite the aforementioned drawback, I believe there are far more benefits to
this
 trend.
Firstly
, the
child
 grows well.
This
 is because, the immense love which
child
 could get from his parents, cannot be expected by the babysitter.
For example
, in Japan, 85% of children are physically and mentally healthy due to getting good attention and care by one of the guardians.
This
 has resulted in the
child
 to become extrovert and can perform very well in school.
Secondly
, the
work-life
balance
 is another positive. If one parent is at home to take care of
ch
ild a
Suggestion
children
a child
nd house too, irrefutably, another partner can concentrate on work and earn money.
Therefore
, the
work-life
balance
 could be maintained. In conclusion,
although
 a
child
 does not get pampered by either of his parents due to working full-time, I believe good nurturing and maintaining
work-life
balance
 are imperative benefits.
Submitted by jdsmss on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: